Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML
Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML
Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a V-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year-old grandma. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML
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Top comments
StanSmith_fml 9
Grandparents. They say the truth, even if it hurts.
Kajol123 5
At least she acknowledged you....unlike mine :/ baby steps, OP
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Comments (150)
alpacaman 5
Drees less like a ****? Op No guy wants to go out with a ****. A guy going out with a **** is like a bird falling for a fish. It'll never work. Dress better
twye 22
That's the /nicest/ thing?! Oh man.. Gramma sounds kinda mean.
noisebox 1
Wow grandma's pretty direct, she's funny though
truthbringer007 6
What a bitch!!!
owlfeatures 8
No wonder you haven't seen her for years... O.o
In_some_bullshit 13
She's just upset she can't dress like that anymore!
owlfeatures 8
Over the years, I noticed that elderly people don't care much for tact... But that is just the "oldens" I know...
GetTheFuckOut 7
Gee. Wonder why she would tell you such a thing.
YesyDidWhat 0
Wow your ****** up you don't even know of OP is really a tramp or not!
SchlomoTheGrinch 18
Well, she certainly speaks her mind!
inkedav 8
I would of totally he-manned grandma with the nearest object.!