Today, my grandmother saw me for the first time in years. "Not all your clothes have to be as tight as condoms, you tramp," is probably the nicest greeting she's ever given me. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, I saw my 89 year-old grandmother naked. She just moved in with us and apparently, she has an "open door policy." FML
Today, we spent the day with my grandmother. During a family conversation, my sweet little grandmother looked me up and down, and without any hesitation said, "I remember you being so beautiful," before looking at my mother, mouthing, "What happened?" and laughing. She's 87. FML
Today, we had my grandmother with dementia round for tea. She looked me up and down and said, very matter-of-factly, "Well, with a figure like that, no one will rape you." FML
Today, my grandmother gave me a huge speech on being abstinent until marriage. Being the honest person that I am, I told her I wasn't a virgin anymore. Instead of being mad and telling me I was going to hell. She asked me what my favourite things to do sexually were. And told me hers in detail. FML
Today, my grandmother refused to wear clothes. FML
Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML
Today, my grandma was leaning over in front of me, vacuuming, while wearing a V-neck shirt. Out of instinct, I glanced at her chest. She's 75. I checked out my 75 year-old grandma. FML
Today, I took my grandma to the hospital to visit her estranged husband who she hasn't seen in years. After a thoroughly disasterous visit, we're waiting in the carpark and my gran strokes my face and tells me I have a lot of facial hair. I thought she was going to thank me. And I'm a girl. FML
Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML
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Top comments
StanSmith_fml 9
Grandparents. They say the truth, even if it hurts.
Kajol123 5
At least she acknowledged you....unlike mine :/ baby steps, OP
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Comments (150)
madipoo_LOVE23 0
I feel for you my grandfather thinks I'm gonna be on the next season of sixteen & pregnant..
Marissa1586 18
AHAHAHAH XDDD THAT'S why you never see each other!
diamondbaby16 4
Well she sounds wonderful :3
meaganinja 12
She has a point.
Sentrylegend 3
I feel sorry for you
xLunaKillzUx 5
You shouldn't wear tight clothes, I've yet to see why girls think its cute to show off fat rolls.
gmian 34
Well, OP here. Just found this FML I posted a while before I has an account... My grandmother and I have actually gotten pretty close, even though she still has that sharp tongue of hers. She's been saying that to me for a while before the FML was posted, but she was saying it in Romanian, and I didn't know it translated into condom. I did eventually figure out what it means... Also, my clothes really weren't that tight, for all of you saying I shouldn't show off my fat rolls...
worldclassrager 41
Oh the elderly...the feelings were mutual I hope...
marina1996 5
on one hand i understand why youre frustrated but on the other come on really? you cant dress up nice to go see your grandmother who you havent seen in a long time. my normal wardrobe is black t shirts and denim jeans but when i visit my grandparents i wear slacks and a long sleeves button up.