Today, my grandma added to my elephant collection by giving me some underwear with elephant ears on the hips, and a long, sock-like nose. She has no idea they're meant for a guy. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML
Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML
Today, I received a pair of earrings, a necklace, and some rings as a Christmas gift from my grandma. This would have been nice if I weren't a guy. This is her way of mocking me for wearing what she calls "girl colors", such as white. FML
Today, I found out my grandmother doesn't wear underwear when she bent over in front of me in her inappropriately short nightgown. FML
Today, I received a really nice red satin set of underwear, with a bra, a thong and a corset... From my grandfather. FML
Today, some idiot introduced my grandmother to yoga pants. FML
Today, I was taking my grandma shopping, when she pointed at a pair of thongs and told me if I don’t start wearing them I won’t get a man. I've been married for 4 years, gran. Thanks for paying attention. FML
Today, my grandmother ripped her pants. We all got a big view of her pink thong. FML
Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML
Today, I found out that before my grandma washes my clothes, she smells my underwear to "make sure they're dirty." FML
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Top comments
KawaiiCupcake 14
At least she's trying to make you happy. I would appreciate her gift.
mn_shr 22
You can always put them on display...
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Comments (114)
DocBastard 40
I'm trying to figure out why the trunk would go in the front of men's underwear... Oh, I got it! It's the perfect place to store your extra salami for the holidays. Genius!
thief1434 23
Nah, it's for the candy canes! You don't want your salami getting moist!
MsConfusedd 27
It's to hold that coke bottle in your xray
glabberfasted 16
26 - In that case I think the trunk would have to go in the back ;)
TheTacoMan 24
Meanwhile I'm trying to figure out what else is in her "elephant collection"
Enslaved 38
So when guys ask me if I want to play the game of "Hide the Salami" that's what they meant?
thief1434 23
"Elephants"
varutha 16
Use it as an extra pocket, no more bags needed ;)
RougeKiller 9
Let me just reach in my pants. Don't worry, I'm not doing anything bad, just getting my credit card.
crazytwinsmom 25
Reminds me of the one eared elephant joke, where a guy pulls one of his pockets inside out and unzips his pants...
Enslaved 38
My bf turns both his pockets out (but doesn't necessarily unzip) :P and calls them "rabbit ears". And bunnies love kisses.
SuperMew 22
Is that his "cute" way of trying to get BJ from you?
Enslaved 38
Hahahhahh I guess so. He just knows I love rabbits. Growing up, there's an English custom (that for luck) every first of every month, I need to say "rabbit, rabbit" as my first words spoken in the morning. Wow! Thinking about it now-- it seems kinda twisted that something that stems from my dad's upbringing would be used as a turn on. Guess I have issues! :P Wonder how OP became an "Elephant Lover" lol
EternalTime 7
Turn it around = poop catcher
The_Big_Boss 20
You are a genius!!
junkman6 22
Astronaut underwear. The secret is revealed.
castleofg1ass 19
Maybe you can give them to a future boyfriend to wear and then he can be part of your elephant collection
crazytwinsmom 25
Maybe that was Grandma's intention all along.
SpcNemo 10
Wise old lady she is.
thief1434 23
That's pretty awesome actually...can you imagine the cashier'a face when she purchased those? XD
kayray11 14
At least they're not used.
FunnnyGirrl 19
Imagine the shopkeepers reaction when your grandma bought the underwear! LOL!
DanielleinDC 34
And said, "They're for my granddaughter. She loves elephants." That said, OP, it would have been worse if you had been a guy. Imagine the creeptacular implications of someone giving this to her grandson.
TheCrispyCat 20
Aww, at least she tried lol
SuperMew 22
That is actually really cute.