Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body,... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/07/2011 05:02 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 819

You deserved it 8 527

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Same thing different taste

By captainocd - 19/08/2010 19:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 665

You deserved it 85 214

By whatswrongwithit?:( - 30/09/2012 19:37 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 525

You deserved it 3 681

By Geez - 19/10/2009 17:02 - Netherlands

Spicy

Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 257

You deserved it 3 785

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Spicy

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 031

You deserved it 8 465

By finallyready - 08/01/2013 19:56 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, I discovered after 11 months, my girlfriend is finally ready to have sex. I discovered this by walking in on her and one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 177

You deserved it 4 681

Pectus excavatum!

By Embarrassing Deformity - 29/07/2023 03:00

Today, while making out with my girlfriend, I got the courage to take off my shirt. I told her in advance that I had a sunken chest and she'd told me it was no big deal. Turns out it was, as she wretched at the sight of it, and then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 115

You deserved it 129

By Anonymous - 11/09/2009 17:04 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 372

You deserved it 4 030

By Eddie - 07/08/2011 19:43 - Israel

Spicy

Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 950

You deserved it 4 936

Finger wagging

By Anonymous - 16/12/2024 14:00 - United States - Edison

Spicy

Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 135

By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 008

You deserved it 7 337

Next

Top comments

kapippenger 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:06

Ahw, poor girl.

charlybarly 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 12:06

hey, at least your getting your ins

Comments

vtownzach 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:41

wow... everyone is taking this way too seriously.

SleepOnStones 5

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:48

LMAO! DUDE, YOUR LIFE SUCKS!!!!!!

kombucha_fml 8

Wednesday 13 July 2011 21:49

that's called "ouvert".

4everFastpitch5 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:00

erm wtf?

4everFastpitch5 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:00

erm wtf?

panzercool 2

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:14

rofl !!! kinda like a preview for a start !!

TheDrummingResul 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:22

Lol amazing

Bubbles1354 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:23

awh I bet she's georgous :)

Playful1985 9

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:43

tell her how ridiculous she's being.

raphanne_fml 33

Thursday 14 July 2011 6:11

Yeah, because that's going to help.... -_-"

sushdrag 0

Wednesday 13 July 2011 22:57

dats sick

Bossman11 6

Friday 15 July 2011 6:24

DatsyK :p

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Today, after waiting in front of a washroom stall for 20 minutes to take a dump, I finally realized that the "person" in the stall was just a pair of shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 357

You deserved it 3 490

Today, my son actually tried to get out of being arrested by claiming he was “an agent” and unless they let him go, his employers “from the government” would come looking for him and there would be “consequences”. The officers eventually got their breath back from laughing at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 080

You deserved it 202

Today, my girlfriend is giving me the silent treatment and is making me sleep on the couch, all because I said I loved my best female friend. I meant loved like family. She still won’t hear me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 795

You deserved it 803

Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 950

You deserved it 2 158

Today, my wife helped herself to an energy drink at 7pm, because she "felt tired", and yelled at me when I told her not to. All night, all I heard was, "Babe, I can't sleep. I'm restless. Talk to me. Babe, you're sleeping and I feel lonely. Hey babe what are you thinking about? What's going through your head?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 75

Today, I took my dog to the vet. He sat on my lap the whole car ride, licking my face and acting like my best friend. As soon as we got inside, he turned into a Tasmanian devil and pissed on my shoes, all while looking at me like I'd betrayed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 142