Love: Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't... - FML

30/03/2013 01:29 - France - Geaune

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 145

You deserved it 4 077

Sorry…

Thanks for the support

Are you sure you're OK?

28/06/2012 18:11 - United States - Lacombe

Today, my boyfriend finally met my brother. He arrested him for drunk driving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 172

You deserved it 3 616

How could you?

By PoorJudgeOfCharacter - 25/05/2020 08:00

Today, I found out that before I met my boyfriend of one year, he slept with his twin brother's ex girlfriend who his twin had dated for two years before ending things. Am I dating a monster? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 247

30/04/2016 12:59 - Georgia - Tbilisi

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to this coworker I like and ask her out for a coffee next door. She was dismissive, cold and rude, and filed a complaint with HR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 495

You deserved it 2 218

21/05/2018 15:00

Today, I found out I have a new allergy: the sun. My face is so swollen that it has started to bleed to relieve the pressure. Today is also day 6 of the 3-month European trip that I spent all year saving for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 303

You deserved it 306

08/01/2011 22:05 - Canada

Today, I put my paycheck in my wallet, intending to cash it in the next day. Later on, I met up with a friend and went to a party. I ended up getting so drunk, I gave away my $400 check in exchange for a pack of smokes, thinking it was a $5 bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 502

You deserved it 57 965

11/09/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, after picking up my 6 year old from school, he says, "Drew said his dad could beat you up." I told him that he needs to respect his own father more and stand up for me! I get home, look up his class roster and low and behold, Drew's dad beat me up in Jr. High. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 227

You deserved it 19 123

06/10/2014 03:17 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 785

You deserved it 8 605

20/06/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I came home from work and had to pee so badly that I ran to the bathroom and ripped my pants down. My touch screen phone dropped from my pocket and started calling my boyfriend. Since I couldn't quite reach the phone, I left a message of me peeing on his cell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 390

You deserved it 9 277

05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 884

03/07/2015 09:09 - United States - East Carondelet

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 392

You deserved it 2 130

31/12/2014 03:34 - United States - Blacksburg

Today, my elderly neighbour told me why my other neighbours don't talk to me. I'm a massage/physical therapist and treat clients, mostly athletes, in my home. My neighbours saw the steady stream of young, buff guys coming to my house and concluded that I'm a gay prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 946

You deserved it 3 010

17/05/2009 04:20 - United States

Today, my friend Kate and I were helping build a playground. Halfway through, a construction worker asks where we go to school. I told him we graduated and proudly held degrees in psych. The construction worker stopped mid-dig, glanced at us sadly and said, "yeah that's what my degree's in too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 211

You deserved it 8 782

07/11/2009 11:58 - Germany

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I call her to find out where she lives. She answers the phone only to hear my father yelling in the background, "stop talking to that whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 112

You deserved it 5 169

29/07/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 140

You deserved it 4 235

12/08/2013 14:30 - United States - Mabank

Today, my 26-year-old boyfriend came to my apartment to spend the night for the first time. He brought a "blankie" that he insisted was the only thing that could help him sleep. That "blankie" was his ex-girlfriend's silk nightgown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 802

You deserved it 4 394

19/10/2011 14:37 - United States

Spicy

Today, my eleven year old sister came in, and bitched to me and my boyfriend about how she was going to tell my mom about the used condom she found. My boyfriend punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 811

You deserved it 18 495

03/10/2012 21:33 - United States

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 341

You deserved it 4 678

03/03/2011 11:20

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 199

You deserved it 6 266

29/04/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, as I was picking up my 7 year old daughter at my ex husband's house my daughter started crying saying that she wanted to stay with daddy forever. I asked why. She said her stepmom was a better mommy. Apparently the woman who broke up my marriage is now a better "mommy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 103 003

You deserved it 9 127

Observation

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 555

You deserved it 7 967

04/07/2009 15:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I checked my voicemail. I was really surprised to hear an adorable message from my boyfriend, who was vacationing in Florida. I was even more surprised to hear him having sex with some other girl for the last seven minutes of the message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 487

You deserved it 3 250

Fetch!

By Anonymous - 07/04/2020 17:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were throwing a toy for his dog. He threw it, and I turned my head in that direction, looking for almost a minute before realizing he didn't actually throw it. He's still amused because, "even the dog was smart enough not to fall for that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 312

You deserved it 773

16/07/2012 18:25 - United States - Jersey City

Today, I woke up with a pimple on my eyelid. Not only is it impossible to cover up with makeup, I can't pop it either. Now I'll be spending the rest of the day trying not to blink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 616

You deserved it 2 694

25/08/2018 19:30 - United States - Bellerose

Today, I had to get stitches on my nutsack. I didn't know my mom had waxed the bathroom floor, and while I was stepping into the tub to take a shower my feet slipped in different directions. I landed crotch-first on the metal door frame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 464

You deserved it 176

26/01/2011 10:31 - United States

Today, after mourning and making my girlfriend cancel her big birthday party, I found out my grandma didn't actually die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 905

You deserved it 28 499

12/08/2013 04:49 - United States - Mesa

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she had ever broken up with anyone. She said, "Yes. You." and walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 246

You deserved it 6 532

We're up all night to not get some

By Anonymous - 21/03/2020 03:00

Spicy

Today, I must be the only woman on the planet with a boyfriend who turns down sex because he feels like he’s got a headache coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 858

You deserved it 499

Insurance fraud

By Anonymous - 07/09/2020 20:02 - United States - East Stroudsburg

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't have a license, backed up my car in a Taco Bell parking lot. Someone else was also backing up and smashed right into my car. If they ask to see the camera footage, they're going to see he was driving and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 1 826

Brotherly love

By Foodcomesfirst - 24/11/2009 20:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt dizzy and light-headed. So I sat down at the top of my stairs calling my brother who was downstairs, for help because I was scared something was wrong with me. He called back "No, I'm eating." I fainted. When I woke up, I was still alone upstairs and he was still eating downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 045

You deserved it 3 675

03/10/2018 13:30

Today, I went to play pool with a couple of friends. I'm not very good at this game. My friend beat me fair and square. Twice. He's blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 677

You deserved it 615

09/01/2012 02:41 - United States

Today, my boyfriend texted me saying he had left a surprise on my driveway. Thinking it was something special, I went outside to look. It was a little bag of mayonnaise packets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 041

You deserved it 3 926

07/11/2012 05:11 - Australia - Hornsby

Today, I found a limp head of celery in the fridge. I thought it looked like the squid alien baby from Men in Black. After nursing it for a couple of hours, giving it food, and rocking it to sleep, my parents found me. Then I realised it was just celery. Too bad it took that long for my meds to kick in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 893

You deserved it 7 424

19/12/2009 04:29 - United States

Today, I spent hours delicately writing out what seemed to be a beautiful poem to my girlfriend. After I sent it to her, I kept eyeing my phone to see her surprised message. No, my only response was "you may want to use a spellcheck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 006

You deserved it 26 206

Shorty

By Anonymous - 07/09/2020 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 308

03/06/2009 20:06 - United States

Today, while taking a drug test for a volunteer job, I found out that I have a "shy bladder". It took me ages to pee into a cup. I was congratulated and clapped for by complete strangers when I finally left for taking a piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 313

You deserved it 4 394

15/11/2010 12:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to spend £200 at the dentist for fillings and repairs to my teeth. Why do I need them? Because I'm stressed about money and grind my teeth in the night because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 016

You deserved it 4 564

09/06/2009 23:12 - United States

Today, I was late to work and couldn't get my gas tank open. Panicking, I asked the only person around to help me who happened to be a very large man. He was able to open it for me and seemed really nice. That is until he pulled out a knife and robbed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 210

You deserved it 4 224

01/11/2013 16:49 - United States - Deltona

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 492

You deserved it 4 309

17/01/2011 09:53 - France

Today, my dad’s best friend, who has been his business associate for the past 28 years, took me to a Star Wars store for my 18th birthday. He put on a Darth Vader helmet, and imitating his voice, said: "I am your father." I laughed. It wasn’t a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 787

You deserved it 3 460

02/11/2012 04:17 - United States - Austin

Today, after losing twenty pounds to please my husband, the only comment I received was, "At least now only your personality sucks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 5 079

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Top comments

Vanillanougat 14

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:05

a very good question.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:05

You wanted an honest reaction, I'm assuming. Perhaps she isn't ready to take that step. Nothing wrong with that.

Comments

Vanillanougat 14

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:05

a very good question.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:07

Because he loved her?

stevenJB 25

Saturday 30 March 2013 5:28

IMO, another FML that might have an untold back story

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Saturday 30 March 2013 6:09

Not everyone has the need to get married. I for myself, don't wan't to get married but that doesn't mean I wouldn't love my girlfriend and want to spend my life with her.

LuckBeNimble 19

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Saturday 30 March 2013 6:23

38: true, but what if getting married meant a lot to one of you? relationships require compromise at times. in this case, it is unclear whether OPs girlfriend has something against marriage or is not ready or some other unknown factor. in most situations, her response is understandably considered an "FML" situation.

whos_ur_daddy1 19

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Saturday 30 March 2013 7:31

Anddddd she's gone

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Saturday 30 March 2013 12:52

i dont think her response necessarily meant she didn't want to get married. my response to my proposal was 'are you joking?' i think OPs girlfriend was just so stunned she couldn't think straight

sotheresthisgirl 8

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Saturday 30 March 2013 18:36

Not everyone wants to get married. That doesn't make them any less in love. Nor does it mean they have commitment issues. Some people just choose not to. Then there are some of us that legally don't have the option.

Vanillanougat 14

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Sunday 31 March 2013 21:52

a very good point.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:05

Now it's YOUR turn to stare blankly... Ouch, I'm sorry OP.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:05

You wanted an honest reaction, I'm assuming. Perhaps she isn't ready to take that step. Nothing wrong with that.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:17

Nothing wrong with not being ready for marriage, but that was a bad response to give.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 8:35

but he's like a modern day dr. suess. i see no problem in marrying him.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 16:30

I was about to say, did anyone else notice how well this FML rhymed? Haha

tj4234 35

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Saturday 30 March 2013 20:44

yeah, must be a bloody good translator. Translating rhymes and keeping them well... rhyming is difficult.

superrocket19 17

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:06

That's sad because you'd think she felt the same way

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Saturday 30 March 2013 12:54

no, really?

meihua 19

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:07

We're you expecting her to faint, cry, OR say no?

sens3sfailing 24

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Saturday 30 March 2013 7:09

I think they knew that's what WE were expecting

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Saturday 30 March 2013 7:33

Clearly he was expecting her to faint, cry, AND say no. In that order

DubstepCrazyXD 11

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Saturday 30 March 2013 10:05

*Were @ #5

BlowinChronic 18

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Saturday 30 March 2013 13:07

I'm sure everyone understood what she was trying to say 54. My autocorrect changes were to we're all the freaking time. It's very annoying.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:07

Well you weren't technically rejected op so get back out there and try again in a few months maybe she'll say yes then.

insertnameherr 11

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:08

At least it wasn't a straight out no!

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:37

Are you assuming that if he gives the correct answer she may say yes? Cause to me it sounds kinda like a "no"

attitude_angel 15

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Saturday 30 March 2013 6:37

Anything that's not a definate "yes" is probably a "no"

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Saturday 30 March 2013 16:28

I think she might be cheating

sexxxysydney 14

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Saturday 30 March 2013 18:06

72 just because she's not ready to jump into a life-long commitment with him doesn't mean she's cheating.

gotaplanstan 28

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Saturday 30 March 2013 19:14

@72 I think she might be dumb.

insertnameherr 11

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Saturday 30 March 2013 19:32

Sorry guys, I just read over my comment again and I just realized how stupid it is. Sometimes I disappoint myself.

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:09

Awww well at least she didn't say no. Keep your head high OP:)

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:09

She's probably just not ready to get married. :P Tell her that she means a lot to you, maybe that will change her mind!

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Saturday 30 March 2013 5:10

Yeah.. Why? Tell her why you love and want to marry her. That'll convince her!

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 191

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 588

You deserved it 69