By welptimetoburntheplacedown - 11/08/2014 15:02 - United States - Louisville

Today, I decided to spend a few days at my grandma's house, to help her clean the place up a bit. So far, she's given me a "no masturbating under my roof" talk, used multiple racist slurs, and yelled "QUIET DOWN!" when I so much as sneezed in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 279
You deserved it 3 674

Same thing different taste

Top comments

ShadowlessSpear 21

Fap and sneeze at the same time. Show her who's boss.


Yeah seriously. If you've ever sneezed don't even think of coming near me

NotGabe 28

Sometimes sneezing can't be helped. :/

Would you like me to fix your sarcasm detector, or does it just need new batteries?

Sometimes sarcasm can't be detected :/

If you can't detect this sarcasm then something is wrong.

@54 it looks like you need new batteries for your sarcasm detector

Its punishable by death in some parts of the world

Why are you helping her clean? Ps bless you

Maybe her grandma is old, so she needs some help?

It really doesn't sound like she deserves the help. Even if she's family. She should at least appreciate what OP is doing.

ShadowlessSpear 21

Fap and sneeze at the same time. Show her who's boss.

I'll get the tissues! For the sneezing, of course..

Kyle1dc 17

Bring a black friend over.... not during your sneeze/fap session of course.

Or bring your black friend over and fap them while they sneeze.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

@32 It could be someone who is racist against Asians, whites, Mexicans, or another race.

Kyle1dc 17

#43 Your right! Screw it bring in EVERY minority that you know just to be safe...

#46 I see what #43 is saying though. Everyone always assumes if the word racist is involved it's against blacks.

Kyle1dc 17

#55 Yeah it is a valid point, I guess its due to the fact that in my experience no one really hears much about hate crimes against other races. Usually on the news its a hate crime against African Americans. This is getting to serious.... uh.... [Insert penis joke... oh wait]

No, 62, **** that penis joke. What you said was head on, especially seeing as OP lives in the U.S. I'm black and didn't take any offense to you assuming that she was racist against blacks, because more than likely that's the case.

Stand outside the window of the house, masturbating furiously and very loudly, and don't ever break eye contact with her.

Reminds me of a joke I heard: Chuck Norris is so tough, one day his mom walked in on him masturbating, so he looked her in the eye...and finished.

As long as she bakes cookies, she is still a good grandmother.

Does that make me a good grandma??? :) Just kidding I can't bake if my life depended on it ._.

This isn't to converse, make a constructive comment and keep it moving. ^

23lf 16

It would be wierd to masturbating in someone else's house, especially your grandma

Not really. When the urge is on, it's ON.

I can never ********** outside my home. I don't understand how people can do it in random places. Yet, oddly enough, I've had sex in so many random places... Call me weird.

I've done it in plenty of other houses. Like 21 said, when you get the urge, there's no stopping it until you take care of it.

ArashiGirl 13

Trolling Grandma Strikes Again

Tyler0114 6

"Racial Slurs" While this was posted in Kentucky. Shocker.

RedPillSucks 31

Because Kentucky is the only place where racists live...

My friends grandma is getting on in years becoming senile and racist. In public she constantly loudly points out the "Mus-lums" and "fatties". Once I died my blonde hair red and she spent the day calling me "ranga" and pulling my hair. It's impossible to explain to her why this behavior is wrong.

#39, its true my Grandmother lives in Florida. She's considering moving just because an Asian family moved next to her.