Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed...

By Crispy - 21/06/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 230

You deserved it 46 119

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Same thing different taste

By missko519 - 22/05/2015 07:36 - United States - Broken Arrow

Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 164

You deserved it 21 740

By Ellowise - 24/12/2009 10:06 - Belgium

Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 673

You deserved it 47 169

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 874

You deserved it 90 997

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 013

You deserved it 24 805

By LXA429 - 12/03/2010 07:35 - United States

Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 879

You deserved it 32 403

By fishwizard - 02/06/2017 20:00

Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 3 959

By tan disaster - 27/02/2009 23:09 - United States

Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 520

You deserved it 39 330

By thatsucks4u - 14/08/2010 00:56 - United States

Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 090

You deserved it 51 149

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 584

You deserved it 39 953

By kirstyrd - 12/08/2014 06:07 - United States - Germfask

Today, was the first day my grandma has seen me since I started going to tanning beds. She is now considering taking me out of her will because I look like "a damn Indian". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 996

You deserved it 36 105

reki_fml 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:11

Fast track to skin cancer.

tiemoon37 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 12:05

that's definitely your girlfriends fault! as a punishment, she will have to walk around next to you :)

Comments

quietgirl 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 18:24

wow, I'm sorry. I bet your girlfriend feels like shit now.

lilkatana 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 18:30

FYI you don't need to be burnt to suffer DNA damage from UV irradiation. A tan signifies that you've already suffered DNA damage. Have fun with your squamous cell carcinoma.

CherishFlowers 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 19:00

Cancer can be caused by ANY radiation! Sun or tanning bed! There is no way to avoid it, unless you stay inside your whole life.

Kevaaan127 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 19:11

Not true. Using an SPF of 15 or higher is the way to avoid it.

jessiebare 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 21:20

sunscreen decreases the risk, it doesn't eliminate your risk at sun cancer. for example i use 60 spf everyday because i am allergic to the sun, but i still have a chance at skin cancer because i still tan and burn just the same as everyone else. and even if you stay inside by a window you can get skin cancer, it's not likely, but it is possible.

PureGold 0

Sunday 21 June 2009 19:04

As soon you stepped into that tanning bed, you were automatically saying "YAY!! Cancer! I'll take those concentrated UV rays with a side of my dignity, some skin poisoning, and a few deep-fried man parts, please!" Yes, that enthusiastically, too. Stop listening to your girlfriends advice. Oh, and every touch will feel like someone is branding you with a red-hot iron for a while. Two words: ALOE VERA