Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I used the tanning booth for the first time. Not only was I so white that I received first-degree burns all over my body, but I also forgot to remove my knee-high socks. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I went to the tanning bed. I laid down in the bed and turned it on and the fan started blowing. There was a terrible smell and I thought it was the person before me. Then I realized it was just the fan blowing my sweaty feet towards my face. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed at my local gym for the first time. I went in for the full allowed time of 9 minutes. I went to school after and everybody said I looked like Trump. Confused, I went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. My skin is orange and matches with my bleach blonde hair. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML
Today, a day after I went to the beach and fell asleep in the sun without applying sunscreen, I woke up to find myself looking like a lobster, with the worst tan lines possible. On top of that, I had to go to a wedding, and when I walked in, my cousin asked if I had “taken a bath in some tomato soup.” FML
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Top comments
reki_fml 0
Fast track to skin cancer.
tiemoon37 0
that's definitely your girlfriends fault! as a punishment, she will have to walk around next to you :)
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Comments (160)
l4a4g89 0
Actually, the amount of sun we need per WEEK is only 15 minutes of exposure without sunscreen. During the news segment that I watched, they said that during a sunny week, you can get enough sun by not wearing sunscreen to simply get the mail each day. The only healthy part about tanning, fake or naturally, is the poorly termed "healthy glow" you get.
cutebebe778 0
Sorry, but there's no way UV rays from the SUN can possibly be less damaging than the light rays they use in tanning salons. If tanning beds give you cancer I know of at least 12 people who would've gotten skin cancer a long ass time ago. If you ever decide to take a course in Biology..more specifically DNA, you'll learn the worst possible thing you can do to your skin is going under the sun a lot.
rachelxbreakdown 0
I think your girlfriend set you up. A good girlfriend would have told you not to lay there for 15 minutes =]
mandalaine05 0
A good tannin salon won't let you tan very long in a super bed for the first time. Or any bed for that matter. I wouldn't say FYL, they ****** up, not you.
ergo_fml 13
That's why you shouldn't tan.
Dixie_Normous 0
Whoever is saying you deserved it is an ass. It doesn't matter what the circumstances are, if your balls hurt your life is ******.
monkey314159 0
dude, I've never said this before, but, bitchslap your girlfriend. She should have told you how long. I believe if it's your first time; your only suppose to go for 4 minutes. You should probably be treated for those burns. Not joking.
shosh_xoxo 0
THANK YOU!
kiwistrwbry08 0
Ouuuch, well, hopefully you have some aloe! I'm surprised that your girlfriend didn't tell you though. I've only gone to a tanning salon once, and the woman who was ran the place asked if I'd ever been to a tanning salon before, and told me how long I should stay in to avoid getting burned. Too bad that you didn't get the same warning :( I hope that your girlfriend does something to help make it up to you, and that your burns heal quickly
randomxtremely 0
See? This is what girls can do to u. YDI so move on