Valentine's slay, Caring and Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating...

By FreshDonuts - 28/02/2015 05:03 - United States - Antioch

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 312

You deserved it 6 275

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 098

You deserved it 10 949

By Anonymous - 09/10/2012 08:38 - United States - Murrieta

Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 134

You deserved it 36 889

Romance me please

By trembelwick - 03/12/2011 10:04 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 774

You deserved it 6 058

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 651

You deserved it 60 062

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 034

You deserved it 4 497

By Anonymous - 03/02/2013 16:27 - Serbia

Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 779

You deserved it 5 451

By fruitoftheloom - 09/03/2015 05:13 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 952

You deserved it 7 317

By littlefinger - 11/03/2014 16:11 - United States - Foley

Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 658

You deserved it 6 993

By stopinthenameoflove - 19/06/2014 14:37 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 083

You deserved it 15 424

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 712

You deserved it 8 002

FreshToDeathEf 12

Saturday 28 February 2015 19:31

Tell her you're going to start appreciating the little things in life starting with her ****.

toongler 23

Saturday 28 February 2015 19:31

oooh that's rough OP. I'm sorry, but hey at least she's appreciating it!!!!

Comments

JHam12 14

Sunday 1 March 2015 16:10

eddyinfinity 21

Sunday 1 March 2015 19:25

That bitch

qr_fml 21

Monday 2 March 2015 4:33

Just lmao. Fyl

frisky7dingo 2

Monday 2 March 2015 6:07

Why is that a fml? You got some. That's a win no matter how much of a needle dick you've got

cjfred 13

Monday 2 March 2015 7:28

lol. As long as she "appreciates" it on a regular basis, what's the problem?

JD1147 27

Monday 2 March 2015 15:10

Good on her for accepting your shortcomings ;) short comings... *ahem*

thatonedude55 8

Monday 2 March 2015 21:27

She's either really bad with words, or a total and complete **** that you should leave like right now. I'm personality hoping it's the former.

mrrossh 3

Monday 2 March 2015 23:05

You also should appreciate the little things in life. And you should start with your girlfriend's little sister.

kjbush 7

Wednesday 4 March 2015 16:26

and you smiled;) don't lie.

akngrk 4

Thursday 5 March 2015 7:45

fuckk that bitchh so hard that she can't live without ur dickk again bro

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 239

You deserved it 37 869

Today, I found out my girlfriend has been cheating on me. When I told my sister, she just smiled, held up a closed fist, and said "Look at the number of fucks I give!" She then raised a finger, said "Oops. Finger spasm!" then lowered it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 607

You deserved it 5 177

The Top

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend, and after a while, she moved her hand down to my crotch. She felt my erection, then got up and yelled at me, calling me a horny pig for "assuming we were going to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 016

You deserved it 5 989

Today, I searched for free parking near my work for 30 minutes, trying to avoid paying $12 at a pay lot. I scored a spot, but 1 mile away from the office. I trekked through rain, cold, and got to work late. It was a long hard day, crawled back to my car, and had a $30 ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 366

You deserved it 39 331

Today, I finally had sex with the guy I've been flirting with for months. Immediately after he gave me the 'let's just be friends' speech then left for work, accidentally locking me in his apartment. I had to call his ex girlfriend to come let me out. She smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 833

You deserved it 13 806

Today, I went camping with my family. While I was using the shower house, my sister decided it'd be hilarious to run off with my clothes and towel. I ran back to the camper, completely naked, only for my parents to bitch me out for streaking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 3 640

Today, I realized how fucked I am (not). I'm a 26 year-old virgin waiting for love. No guy my age wants someone inexperienced. The older I get, the more ridiculous I feel. I masturbate way more often than I should and it's like my body is screaming for intimacy. I don't know WTF to do. Maybe I'll be the next 40 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 114

Today, my boyfriend dumped me out of nowhere, supposedly because I act like he's nothing but a sex doll. We've been dating 6 weeks and have had sex twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 750

You deserved it 196

Same thing different taste

Romance me please

Unwarranted

Backhanded

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