Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, my girlfriend refered to her vagina as a meat wallet, and to my penis as small change. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
Today, my girlfriend was telling me how sometimes things seem pretty impressive at first, but can turn out to be colossal disappointments when you try them out. "Like your cock," she bitterly finished. FML
Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be witty to buy a miniature stop sign, and hold it up when she gets bored during sex. FML
Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML
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Top comments
FreshToDeathEf 12
Tell her you're going to start appreciating the little things in life starting with her ****.
toongler 23
oooh that's rough OP. I'm sorry, but hey at least she's appreciating it!!!!
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Comments (113)
bobsanction 18
Doesn't matter, had sex. But seriously, if you're getting laid, why give a damn about the size of your dick?
_Moonlit_Iris_ 10
what a dick.
Joshawott 21
At least she's appreciating it.
SystemofaBlink41 27
Look at it this way: you have one more person appreciating your penis than I do... You're winning, if we do the math correctly.
Gauzy21 12
Well at least she will be paying attention to it :)
Vestin 18
Cram it down her throat. If she doesn't mind - great. If she does, it's evidently not THAT small. Win-win.
collinchildress 12
Ain't the size of the hammer. It's how hard you hit the nail with it
Korpz13 16
Small world problems.
barneyisawesome_fml 9
Great things come in little packages, am I right?
zenrael 21
That's a big statement. Hopefully she can keep it up. ;)