Today, my girlfriend of a couple of months texted me that she was very sad because her puppy had just passed away. Feeling sorry for her, I bought her another puppy of the same breed. I wrapped it in a blanket and placed it on the passenger seat and went to pick her up from school. She sat on it. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML
Today, I was in my car with my window down at a red light. Outside, a sweet old lady was sitting on a bench with her dog sleeping next to her. I yelled out the window to tell her how cute her dog was. She replied, "He's dead" and cried. FML
Today, my best friend decided to get herself a new puppy. My dog passed away last week. She named it the same name and got the same breed as mine was. She sees nothing wrong and can’t understand why I’m upset. In fact, she tells me to “stop being a Debbie Downer.” FML
Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML
Today, my 12 year-old dog died. My boyfriend's attempts to comfort me involved him muttering, "At least she knows how to play dead now." FML
Today, my girlfriend canceled our date I've been looking forward to all week because her dog was having puppies. She doesn't have a dog. FML
Today, after calling my boyfriend and telling him that my dog had just died, he hesitated and stuttered, "She was old, sick, and suffering. Babe, it was her time to go." He then informed me he had to go to his friend's house and hung up. My dog was two years-old, in great health, and was hit by a car. FML
Today, I open my front door and saw a covered basket with a card from my girlfriend on it. I picked it up and read, "Hope this cheers you up." I uncovered the basket to find a golden labrador puppy. Its eyes were closed and it wasn't breathing. FML
Today, my new girlfriend has a purse dog, a chihuahua. The thing is so small, I didn’t see it, tripped over it, and my knee broke its back. It had to be put down. I don’t have a girlfriend anymore. FML
Today, I heard that my crush’s dog had died. For some reason, my first instinct when I saw him was to say, “Oh my god, I heard that your dog died!” He started crying. FML
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Top comments
jaydnnx 0
what happened to the puppy???
CallMeHush 1
That is just F'ed up.
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Comments (323)
SomeonesGoneDie 0
snickerdoodles , you bitch too much.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
Holy **** snickerdoodles your annoying as all hell, and you complain way to much! Pull the fist out of your ass and stop overlooking everything, and correcting everyone! It's ridiculous...
CRUZs_GURL1 0
SNICKERDOODLES SHOULD TAKE THE EFFING STICK OUT OF HER ASS AND STOP PROOFREADING OTHER PEOPLES STUFF SHE DOESNT EVEN SHE DOESNT EVEN PROOFREAD HER SHIT thier stupid **** is that better
Nakedsquirrel 5
She probably killed her first puppy by accident also. Either way you're both idiots.
heeheehoo 0
Too much of snickerdoodle here. Bye all.
intensitive 11
Agreed.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
if your talking to me perdixxx let's go get hitched! jk... and whatever I'm like half asleep I don't care if my comment made sense or not... hahaha. I mean over analizing I don't know how to spell that though.
Cthulu 0
Over anal-izing? Uh, that sounds painful.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
suck a fat d*ck snickerdoodles I corrected myself. I'm on my iPhone so it usually corrects "your" to "you're" anyway so I never have to do it... Also I mean over analizing not over looking. So stfu.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
Seriously shut up Ragity Anne. Well that's what I was trying to spell. lol maybe I was typing in a rush and did not put an "e" on the end. And b*tch I can be lazy if I want! I'm in bed so yeah I can be lazy at least I'm typing: "LiKe di$ cuz I aktuily MaK3 An efer ", 2 speLL Kor3ctilY. lmao hahahha that took forever to type I have never wrote anything like that ever haha.
sugarbabyxoxo 2
***at least I'm not****
Sheebz 0
i agree with snickerdoodles on this one.... I hope it didnt die cuz that wood be f**ked up...
cwl727 33
Who is snickerdoodles
sugarbabyxoxo 2
@Perdixxx, lmao I have no babeh's! how am I a milf. XD
MadaZer0 8
He awesome that way... That's why we need to reward him with cherry pie!
sugarbabyxoxo 2
was that at me or 88
Eddie_Paints 0
Hey Sugar I can help you with that!
sugarbabyxoxo 2
Help a b*tch out than! Hahah
Eddie_Paints 0
I don't think you're b*tch
MadaZer0 8
Both!
sugarbabyxoxo 2
bahaha "sexytits" messaged you perdixxx lmao you seem fun hahah
sugarbabyxoxo 2
go on safari
sugarbabyxoxo 2
and go to fml and click like the normal version not mobile. haha
MadaZer0 8
Omg... Did he actually just get the cherry pie!!!???
sugarbabyxoxo 2
lmfao
sugarbabyxoxo 2
I got a blank message from you. lmfao
sugarbabyxoxo 2
hey now I'm a pimp okay hahahha ;)
sugarbabyxoxo 2
your sweet haha
MadaZer0 8
WTF! Bombs!? Don't give terroist that kind of idea :o
HanaxD 0
How did the puppy stay in place long enough for someone to sit on it? o_o And how did she do it anyway? How can you not notice something moving on your seat? Poor puppy. :/