By Anonymous - 20/11/2012 01:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend looked me straight in the eye and said, "I know about the sea turtles." I asked her what she was talking about and she said, "Next time, shut up or I'll show you pain." I have no idea what she's talking about. FML
I agree, your life sucks 25 562
You deserved it 2 322

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I'd shut up next time.

Tell her that you know about the crabs.

Comments

I'd shut up next time.

Hopefully she doesn't say it again? I wonder if she was just joking..

You don't joke about sea turtles.

That threat was pretty awesome. I might have to use that sometime ^_^

Next time? Why would there be a next time? Break up with her so there isn't a next time.

SApprentice 34

21- Ah, yes. The 'break up with them' crowd. I was wondering when one of you would rear your ugly head.

But the problem with shutting up is if OP actually did, she'd get mad anyway because she didn't successfully fish out the confession she was expecting.

I can't stand when people assume break ups are the plausible solution in these just wtf moment FML's. are you in fucking 3rd grade?! Have you no regard for the way the world really works?! Sorry, sorry...got too worked up...weeeelll, maybe not

True, we don't have all the details here, and exceptions abound, but it seems to me that in most cases, serious threats of physical violence -- especially with no explanations behind them -- are a perfect justification for terminating a relationship. Imagine this situation but with the genders reversed. I don't think you would be taking it so lightly.

Actually I would still think there is not enough info to justify a break up if the roles were reversed. I honestly could see plenty of people saying this as a joke. If a man would make that threat it's most likely not the first time violence has appeared in his deposition and would then would justify a break up. But off of one thing like that...guys don't go around making threats to women like that and mean them but only do it once ever.

Please note that I said "serious threats of physical violence" (as opposed to "comical threats of physical violence"), and that I allowed for other circumstances (e.g., was she high?). That said, the terse details provided by the OP imply that this was meant to be interpreted as a serious threat ("looked me straight in the eye", "I have no idea what she's talking about"), as opposed to an empty threat or a joke. I'm all for having a twisted sense of humor (I like to think that I possess one myself), but in order to make jokes like this to someone, you should be extremely confident that that person knows you well enough to at least suspect that it is a joke. I agree, it's naive to advise someone to dump their significant other based on a mere 234-character testimony and no context, but I (as a life-long serial monogamist, now happily married) think that most people don't see (and/or act upon) the warning signs of doomed relationships early enough, although they can seem like obvious red flags in hindsight. Serious threats of violence, even if empty or said in bluff (i.e., meant as emotional manipulation), qualify as such a red flag, IMHO. If the OP can't trust her with his sea turtles, he shouldn't trust her with his testicles.

Ah, someone on here who can type like they have a brain. The was refreshing

No kidding 94. 92, I expect great things from you in this online community.

92-so you agreed with me...thanks for the explination of why we both believe serious theats of violence are unhealthy and should be cause for immediate termination of a relationship. what you are not seeing though is you simply do not get that some people give themselves a chuckle by making them seriously think you are upset over something obnoxious. if you interprete it as a serious threat, it does not mean automatically that it was a serious threat. people can change the way they approach jokes to mess with a companion in a new, scary, funny way. you basically agreed with me then disagreed with me because you assumed conditions. it could be right for this relationship to end if it was a serious threat, but given that sea turtles were involved, it was probably a joke that went over OP's head.

I'm just as confused as you are.

She sounds a bit crazy. I wish FMLs could be longer to get more of this story! It could have an interesting back story.

That'd be an interesting feature. Maybe a link after the FML or have it on the submitters profile (if they have one).

First the giraffe rebellion, now this?! (penguinz0 reference)

Oh god!! Obviously she knows OP helped Jack Sparrow escape that island.

Stop banging sea creatures while you're drunk and she won't show you pain.

That was one time, I was drunk and the turtle was my ride home.

Haha Meenah Banging sea creatures

This is amazing.

I cant understand how this is anything even close to amazing.

That's what she said

Maybe OP cheated on her and that's some kind of slang she's using because she found out? This is just merely a wild guess.

Is your girlfriend Xena, the Warrior Princes by any chance?

SApprentice 34

I don't blame you for your sea turtle affair, OP. Those leatherbacks are damn sexy.

And endangered :( poor turtles

Tell her that you know about the crabs.

Better check that your girlfriend isn't a fanatic for sea turtles before you host your annual Real Life Mario Kart Race with your friends.

Those exist?!? Whoa. I have so much yet to experience in this life

She sounds fucking psycotic. Yeah, next time I'd shut up.

Did she still have zombie makeup on since Halloween because I think she likes turtles.

What the hell are you trying to even say?

I think OP is the turtle lover here, not his girlfriend. But for the record, I did get the reference. Thanks for the laugh :P.

There's a YouTube video of a little boy on the news who says "I like turtles" when asked some Halloween related question. Completely off topic yet totally cute (and funny).

It was also featured on Tosh.0