Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
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Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
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Top comments
alleygirl 0
See, what you need to learn is the Self-Dutch Oven in vengeance. Next time you let out a big 'un under the covers while she's sleeping, sneak out in such a way that still contains the gases under the blankets. Then turn the lights on. She'll throw the covers over her head to hide from the light.
AliSama 17
stock up on air fresher. It is a normal human thing to fart in sleep. You probably do it but don't realize it. Grow balls and stop worrying about stuff like this.
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Comments (44)
24788 7
#15, lol
Ramoose 0
YDI for two reasons: 1. You know what rotten noodles actually smell like. 2. You actually compare your GF's garts to these rotten noodles in a very poorly executed metaphor.
katatak 0
#19. It's a simile, not a metaphor. I'm so disappointed in grammar skills of our youth (not saying that you are young, I have no idea). Simile is the more appropriate term for this particular FML. Also, #18, smelt means a lot of different things. In addition to a fish, it is also the term for refining metal ore. It is also a past tense version of the verb to smell. It's old school, but it's legit.
YacL 15
Mmmm... similes I like similes like I like noodles... I f**king love noodles. If you told your GF she did that, FHL, if you didn't, FYL.
kira822_fml 0
What the hell do rotten noodles smell like?!
Eaglestrike117 29
That's what happens when you hold it in all the time.
nutbiscuit 0
maybe that;s just your odour
popoman 0
Yeah, fart on her face. It's the only solution. When you do it, don't wear any pants, shorts, or underwear. Then kiss her.
bishoprsv2 0
FAAAAAAAKE!!!!! GIRLS DON'T FART DUMBASS!!
Jordan829 0
what guy (OP) names his self "pikachu"
smarties25 0
hahah that's funnyy
desser627 0
he is obviously chinese, that's why his girlfriends farts smell like noodles, duhhh :)
Brittaneyyy 0
#1 best one yet he'll of way to get even
rzbt21 0
slap the bitch to let her know women can not upset us men. stupid ho