Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
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Top comments
alleygirl 0
See, what you need to learn is the Self-Dutch Oven in vengeance. Next time you let out a big 'un under the covers while she's sleeping, sneak out in such a way that still contains the gases under the blankets. Then turn the lights on. She'll throw the covers over her head to hide from the light.
AliSama 17
stock up on air fresher. It is a normal human thing to fart in sleep. You probably do it but don't realize it. Grow balls and stop worrying about stuff like this.
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Comments (44)
chubbybunny963 7
Proof that girls DO fart! But sorry about the smell OP...yuck
sugarbear0727 19
Better hope its not pregnancy farts. Oh god they stink. As a pregnant girl, I know. I've farted on my boyfriend a few times, and I swear he almost puked. I just laughed. That sucks that it was loud enough to wake you up. But I guess that depends on if you're a light or heavy sleeper. If you're a light sleeper, not anything to worry about, but if you're a heavy sleeper, she must have been blowing some major ass to wake you up.
Sirin_fml 47
You typed that ridiculous and totally inaccurate rant, instead of just opening a dictionary or Googling "British English"? And the education system is "worse THEN useless", is it? Good job showing off your own ignorance to the whole world.
kenyrabit 25
Stop feeding her rotten noodles. lol Problem solved.
sharond23 10
everybody friggin does it. get over it.