Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, in the middle of the night, my girlfriend whispered "Are you asleep?" I chose not to respond, to see what she'd do. She then let rip a loud, stinking fart, giggled, and went back to sleep. FML
Today, while we were sleeping, my girlfriend and I rolled to opposite sides of the bed. When I woke up, I moved closer and wrapped my arm around her. Her response was to fart in her sleep, resulting in a smell so noxious that I had no choice but to roll back to the other side. FML
Today, I was spooning with my girlfriend. She fell asleep and spent the next 15 minutes farting on me. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
Today, I was woken up by my own fart. FML
Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML
Today, I let out the most vile, nose-melting dairy curdling fart of my life. The sound didn’t wake me up. But the nightmare I had from how rank smelling it was sure did. My own fart ruined my sleep. FML
Today, in my sleep I let out a couple of farts. Normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but on this night I had slept in my mom's room. She came to check in on me and violently woke me up because she thought I pooped in the bed. Now my entire family knows I fart in my sleep. FML
Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML
Today, I was woken up at 4 in the morning by my boyfriend farting on my leg and giggling in his sleep. For the third time. FML
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Top comments
alleygirl 0
See, what you need to learn is the Self-Dutch Oven in vengeance. Next time you let out a big 'un under the covers while she's sleeping, sneak out in such a way that still contains the gases under the blankets. Then turn the lights on. She'll throw the covers over her head to hide from the light.
AliSama 17
stock up on air fresher. It is a normal human thing to fart in sleep. You probably do it but don't realize it. Grow balls and stop worrying about stuff like this.
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Comments (44)
hotdogbandit 0
nicely done
starberries 0
Why would you suffer through that for an hour when it can be easily remedied with a lit match or candle?
cg24 0
it's called a quiff..
gigispoppin 0
is ur girlfriend Asian
mrlopez 13
Love is in the air. ahhhh....
breezyblue33 19
I've been guilty of letting a loud one rip before. The force was so powerful that it woke me up. Haha. We both laughed about it afterwards. :p
Baytheshark 14
That's scary... How do thou know what rotten noodles smell like?
jeanniebabee 10
lol' how embarrassing
MaddySwaggedUp 0
Ewwww.
dacoop64 2
That's shitty ha