Love: Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to"....

By Afroman720 - 27/07/2015 18:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 760

You deserved it 2 887

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/11/2009 17:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because her mom said she would buy her a pug if she did. I got dumped for a dog, and an ugly one for that matter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 664

You deserved it 6 979

By really? - 23/09/2013 02:24 - United States

Today, I texted my girlfriend to tell her that we couldn't hang out because my dog died this morning and we were burying him. She replied that she wasn't going to get stood up by a stupid dog. She then broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 065

You deserved it 4 404

By steve - 05/09/2012 08:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 057

You deserved it 5 342

By .... - 24/12/2013 02:48 - United States - Modesto

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "we don't communicate enough". She got her friend to tell me this for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 061

You deserved it 3 724

Know your worth

By Anonymous - 20/05/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, because I was apparently "too good" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 925

You deserved it 86

By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 14:49 - United States

Today, my girlfriend whom I'm crazy about broke up with me out of the blue. After pleading with her unsuccessfully, I called my mom for comfort and advice. She informed me that my dog had died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 688

You deserved it 3 166

By Anonymous - 27/09/2010 13:17 - Australia

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 760

You deserved it 10 999

By Anonymous - 15/02/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He let me know by shaving "CYA" into my dog's fur and then moving out before I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 2 779

By Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 400

You deserved it 3 503

By justmeagain - 11/12/2018 12:00

Today, my girlfriend left me. The reason? She sent me a link to a story online about a woman who abused her dog to the point of death and I didn’t vomit while reading it. According to her, that makes me a “heartless monster.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 668

You deserved it 260

hussamhasi 22

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:07

They will always find excuses .. My ex girlfriend broke up with me because marriage was going to be hard for us , we were 16 .. No sense

MDoremis 38

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:08

Count yourself lucky, then. Do you really want to be subjected to that kind of crazy for any longer?

Comments

Teyros 24

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:41

She was already trying to break up with you OP, she just went about it in the dumbest way possible. Better off without her

ligerzero459 24

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:42

You feel that sniper round that just whizzed by you? Yeah, you totally just dodged a bullet

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:44

Does her dog bark in morose code and it said "dump him"

Arcanel 18

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:44

Hey you are better off without her she is obviously extremely immature if that's a justifiable reason to end a relationship in her book. It might hurt now but in the future I'm sure you'll be thankful and better off for it, chin up brother.

Nanu77 9

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:46

Bitches love dogs. Find a human mate!

mrhe3t 9

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:48

**** that Bitch!

JKPwnage 27

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:51

How to tell if your (ex) girlfriend is a schizophrenic, lesson 1

pangio 2

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:53

ummm schizophrenia much

LegolasPrincess 10

Tuesday 28 July 2015 0:54

Excuses, excuses. If you don't want to be with somebody just say so...

BiGTiMeNeRD 29

Tuesday 28 July 2015 1:02

Sounds like she's very dogmatic.

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The Top

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. The help-line told me, "Don't touch the door. We'll be there soon". Two hours later, I had a headache, my legs were stiff, and my date must've thought I stood her up. The tech finally arrived, pries the door open, then rudely asked, "Why didn't you do that yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 451

You deserved it 3 567

Today, I spent two hours perfecting a really romantic text message to my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. I listed all the things I loved about him, and recalled some of our best times together. Two minutes after I sent it, he replied, "Huh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 763

You deserved it 10 103

The Top

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 814

You deserved it 38 028

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 145

You deserved it 7 948

Today, I received a call telling me I had not gotten a job I would have been a perfect fit for. The hiring manager told me they "went in the opposite direction" and chose to hire someone with less experience, so they didn't have to pay them as much. She made sure to tell me I was still the better candidate though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 64

Today, I was at a fraternity party, and one of the hosts said over the loudspeaker "turn to the person next to you and picture them naked, then drink a beer if the mental image disturbs you". I turned, only to be face-to-face with my ex-boyfriend. He drank two beers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 334

You deserved it 5 629

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 8 848

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 269

You deserved it 61 660

Same thing different taste

Know your worth

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