Today, as soon as I got home, my girlfriend was waiting for me at the door. She told me she was breaking up with me. The reason? She found a girl's shirt in my closet and that she didn't need a cheating boyfriend. That shirt was mine. FML

Today, while heading to the bathroom, I saw my girlfriend putting some lingerie under my bed. I stupidly thought it was for some sexy time later. Well, later on, she dramatically "found" the lingerie and broke up with me. Almost everyone believes her story and thinks I'm a dirty cheater. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after a year of living together. She told me that she met someone else and wanted to move out. She moved out... but moved her things into my roommate's bedroom. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

Dodged a bullet

Today, I went through the stuff that I'd left at my ex’s place and started unpacking it. I found a pair of another girl's panties. We broke up a little over a week ago. FML

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML