By jasmith - 18/11/2012 07:45 - United States - Addison

Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks 26 996
You deserved it 3 550

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Top comments

I guess she pillaged and plundered your balls.

lelo007 11

Kindly take the wooden spoon from her and return the favor by whacking her in the forehead with it.

Comments

I guess she pillaged and plundered your balls.

Sent them straight to Valhalla, in true Norse fashion. May your noble balls lie safe in Asgard, OP

xXHollowIchigoXx 17

The sex is going to be very rough and kinky.

Swede Jesus I bet that hurt!!

lelo007 11

Kindly take the wooden spoon from her and return the favor by whacking her in the forehead with it.

lelo007 11

I can believe that. I've been pretty angry at a few men in my past, but I have never even thought of hitting below the belt. Well, I've never hit anybody ever, but if I were going to, it wouldn't be in their balls.

Wow. Their sex life must have a great time if shit like this outside the bedroom doesn't Make her want to run out now!

A Wooden spoon!? Holy shit she is a viking !

It had nails sticking out

Beserk comes from 'bear-sark' or 'bare-sark' meaning either bear shirt (as in, a shirt made from bears) or topless. However, I don't think gratuitous nudity is worth genital pain.

No, the term "going berserk" came from the ancient Norse berserker warriors, because of how viciously they fought in battle. It was said that they would go into an uncontrollable state of rage. Hence "going berserk."

I'm sure the thumbs-downers would be very disappointed to learn that rattusrattus is absolutely right. Keep thumbing her down if you like - it won't make her wrong. Desoto - Look up the etymology of "berserk".

Actually, they're both right. It was the mental people who wore the bear shirts/went naked. Well, sort of, scholarship has largely abandoned the notion of them fighting naked, due to this being a misreading of the old Norse. (ber-serkr not berr-serkr) Unfortunately this then means rattusrattus's joke does not work.

My love for you is like a truck. BERSERKER.

I apologize for being rude, but considering the context of the word in the FML. I would say that my comment makes more sense. Anyhow, who cares lol.

Trisha_aus 15

I didn't know Vikings used wooden spoons to smack people in the nuts..you learn so much on FML!

Is that... an emoticon?

It's the shooting star people.

It's the shooting star people.

I believe it's supposed to be a rainbow with a star at the end. I saw it a lot on TV in the 90s after a little tid bit of knowledge was explained. I'm not exactly sure what show or channel had it.

I just know it from Family Guy LOL.

klovemachine 24

It was on NBC, 61...the more you know :) =====*

All hail the mighty Thor!

Trisha_aus 15

I thought Thor was a Demi-god...he looks too hot to be a Viking

Ahh, you don't like the long, greasy beards and un-groomed, sweat-covered arm hair of the Vikings?

10, Thor is a God and the son off Odin the all-father creator of the universe in Norse mythology.

Thor is a god in Norse mythology. Hence the title Thunder God. Demi gods were more in Greek mythology. Then Norse mythology.

She smacked you with Thor's hammer.

Mikeskinner 7

Avengers got it wrong. Thor's not a Demi-God. He's a full-blown god. I think they said Demi-god in avengers to avoid religious prosecution.

#58, *Thor's hammer, kitchen version.

62- The Thor in the Marvel universe and the Thor in Norse mythology are substantially different.

Unless of course you were referring to the comics, in which case I'm a moron. Let the thumbs rain down..

SmittyJA24 26

That's not a GF, that's a crazy bitch. Dump her "Viking" ass now ... before you have more painful encounters with that wooden spoon.

Trisha_aus 15

So she's a bit imaginative..dump her ass isn't always the answer. Maybe he can learn what Vikings like..this can be fun for both!

honeybadgerr 9

Yes #9 you are in no position to judge... Taking one look at your profile picture gave an interesting view at your own character.

28 - Since we're saying things about character: I'm assuming that you're 12 years old, a honey badger, talk in 3rd person, and you don't care about anything.

olpally 32

Could be the sign of some kinky porn she wants to act out, or she's just a crazy bitch. I'll go with the latter.

Trisha_aus 15

What kind of kinky porn scenario features a Viking?!

The right kind.

olpally 32

Anything is possible. Lol

xXxIracebethxXx 14

RULE 34!

Or maybe it's a sign that she's been listening to Amon Amarth too much...

winnerme123 8

Next time, wear a cup.

For y'all who dont know what a cup is, it means like a jock strap, something to protect your nuts.

Ask her how many blows to the head she has had recently, it might be useful when looking for some strong-ass medication