Today, my girlfriend claimed she was a Viking because she's pale and has blond hair. She also warned me that if I piss her off she'll go 'berserk' on me. She demonstrated by smacking me in the nuts with a wooden spoon. FML
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Top comments
By
bubina
| 14
I guess she pillaged and plundered your balls.
By
lelo007
| 11
Kindly take the wooden spoon from her and return the favor by whacking her in the forehead with it.
COMMENTS
By
bubina
| 14
I guess she pillaged and plundered your balls.
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
Sent them straight to Valhalla, in true Norse fashion. May your noble balls lie safe in Asgard, OP
Reply
xXHollowIchigoXx
| 17
The sex is going to be very rough and kinky.
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
Swede Jesus I bet that hurt!!
By
lelo007
| 11
Kindly take the wooden spoon from her and return the favor by whacking her in the forehead with it.
Reply
lelo007
| 11
I can believe that. I've been pretty angry at a few men in my past, but I have never even thought of hitting below the belt. Well, I've never hit anybody ever, but if I were going to, it wouldn't be in their balls.
Reply
christyxbee
| 15
Wow. Their sex life must have a great time if shit like this outside the bedroom doesn't
Make her want to run out now!
Make her want to run out now!
By
xGolfWangx
| 5
A Wooden spoon!? Holy shit she is a viking !
Reply
TourettesGuyFTW
| 25
It had nails sticking out
By
rattusrattus
| 18
Beserk comes from 'bear-sark' or 'bare-sark' meaning either bear shirt (as in, a shirt made from bears) or topless. However, I don't think gratuitous nudity is worth genital pain.
Reply
desoto96
| 9
No, the term "going berserk" came from the ancient Norse berserker warriors, because of how viciously they fought in battle. It was said that they would go into an uncontrollable state of rage. Hence "going berserk."
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
I'm sure the thumbs-downers would be very disappointed to learn that rattusrattus is absolutely right. Keep thumbing her down if you like - it won't make her wrong.
Desoto - Look up the etymology of "berserk".
Desoto - Look up the etymology of "berserk".
Reply
DelphiCat
| 17
Actually, they're both right. It was the mental people who wore the bear shirts/went naked.
Well, sort of, scholarship has largely abandoned the notion of them fighting naked, due to this being a misreading of the old Norse. (ber-serkr not berr-serkr)
Unfortunately this then means rattusrattus's joke does not work.
Well, sort of, scholarship has largely abandoned the notion of them fighting naked, due to this being a misreading of the old Norse. (ber-serkr not berr-serkr)
Unfortunately this then means rattusrattus's joke does not work.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
My love for you is like a truck. BERSERKER.
Reply
desoto96
| 9
I apologize for being rude, but considering the context of the word in the FML. I would say that my comment makes more sense. Anyhow, who cares lol.
By
Trisha_aus
| 15
I didn't know Vikings used wooden spoons to smack people in the nuts..you learn so much on FML!
Reply
kniggit
| 10
Is that... an emoticon?
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
It's the shooting star people.
Reply
CanWeMicrowaveIt
| 11
It's the shooting star people.
Reply
annie_nk
| 22
I believe it's supposed to be a rainbow with a star at the end. I saw it a lot on TV in the 90s after a little tid bit of knowledge was explained. I'm not exactly sure what show or channel had it.
Reply
chippa
| 24
I just know it from Family Guy LOL.
Reply
klovemachine
| 24
It was on NBC, 61...the more you know :)
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By
Rowdey
| 10
All hail the mighty Thor!
Reply
Trisha_aus
| 15
I thought Thor was a Demi-god...he looks too hot to be a Viking
Reply
Rowdey
| 10
Ahh, you don't like the long, greasy beards and un-groomed, sweat-covered arm hair of the Vikings?
Reply
tygerarmy
| 35
10, Thor is a God and the son off Odin the all-father creator of the universe in Norse mythology.
Reply
Warden1986
| 16
Thor is a god in Norse mythology. Hence the title Thunder God.
Demi gods were more in Greek mythology. Then Norse mythology.
Demi gods were more in Greek mythology. Then Norse mythology.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
She smacked you with Thor's hammer.
Reply
Mikeskinner
| 7
Avengers got it wrong. Thor's not a Demi-God. He's a full-blown god. I think they said Demi-god in avengers to avoid religious prosecution.
Reply
outoftown
| 26
#58, *Thor's hammer, kitchen version.
Reply
KaeSAL
| 11
62- The Thor in the Marvel universe and the Thor in Norse mythology are substantially different.
Reply
KaeSAL
| 11
Unless of course you were referring to the comics, in which case I'm a moron. Let the thumbs rain down..
By
SmittyJA24
| 26
That's not a GF, that's a crazy bitch. Dump her "Viking" ass now ... before you have more painful encounters with that wooden spoon.
Reply
Trisha_aus
| 15
So she's a bit imaginative..dump her ass isn't always the answer. Maybe he can learn what Vikings like..this can be fun for both!
Reply
honeybadgerr
| 9
Yes #9 you are in no position to judge... Taking one look at your profile picture gave an interesting view at your own character.
Reply
Cartera
| 10
28 - Since we're saying things about character: I'm assuming that you're 12 years old, a honey badger, talk in 3rd person, and you don't care about anything.
By
olpally
| 32
Could be the sign of some kinky porn she wants to act out, or she's just a crazy bitch. I'll go with the latter.
Reply
Trisha_aus
| 15
What kind of kinky porn scenario features a Viking?!
Reply
Rowdey
| 10
The right kind.
Reply
olpally
| 32
Anything is possible. Lol
Reply
xXxIracebethxXx
| 14
RULE 34!
Reply
skittlestrailmix
| 14
Or maybe it's a sign that she's been listening to Amon Amarth too much...
By
winnerme123
| 8
Next time, wear a cup.
Reply
chris_a7x
| 11
For y'all who dont know what a cup is, it means like a jock strap, something to protect your nuts.
By
TrailblazerSS
| 5
Ask her how many blows to the head she has had recently, it might be useful when looking for some strong-ass medication