Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I came home to find my brother making out with my girlfriend while taking a selfie. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 2 months decided to wrestle with my younger brother. He has gotten more action than I have. FML
Today, while at my brother's funeral, my girlfriend decided to tell me she'd been sleeping with him. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, I found out why my boyfriend won't come over anymore. He and my brother apparently had a "thing" before we started dating. FML
Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML
Today, I showed up at my brother's house for a visit. Little did I know, there was a family gathering. My best friend was invited and I wasn't. She's "more fun and less awkward" than I am. FML
Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML
Today, I followed my wife out, since she's been acting strangely lately and I was suspicious. She met up with a guy at a restaurant, who she later claimed was her brother. Either she's cheating on me, or it's tradition in her family to make out and grope each other at the end of meals. FML
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Top comments
MistySky 17
She ended up being more hungry than you thought... ;x
Stayin_Classy777 8
Kick that douche out of your life and also stop talking to your girlfriend
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Comments (104)
every1luvsboners 11
On the way home from work today I had the urge to **********. The windows in my truck are tinted pretty dark so I wasn't too worried about people seeing inside. As I was busting a nut I aimed it down at my floor mat and made a huge stain on it. I felt pretty stupid afterwards and my mom didn't talk to me the rest of the way home.
bphill 2
what....is this....
Welshite 39
Don't even attempt to understand; simply accept.
SlapAndTickle 20
Fail at trying to submit an FML? We all know now, so much for anonymous. BUAHAHA.
GoodLookingGeese 10
I see "boners" you're back on FML, lots of sh*t changing here.. Kids don't know who u are... welcome back or not you little mf
GoodLookingGeese 10
Admins erased my welcome note to the "boner" WTF???
polloloko22 3
I feel for you man but deff ditch the hoe and slap your bro!
ghil15 8
so i guesss she really intead to visit your brother not you, sorry OP
Dracoboxer357 35
Ditch the bitch, with an optional **** punt. No excuse for that crap. :p
worldclassrager 39
Tough love...but shouldn't she be making the lunch? It's a woman's job... That not being sexist just trying to be funny...
agirls_heart 5
Well at least you know now that she's not worth it, best to find out early then regret everything later in life...
Savner 16
I hope you got her some water too because she's obviously very thirsty.
Anyb0dyTh 8
Dump your brother AND the girlfriend. THAT AINT COOL!
GoodLookingGeese 10
I like the spirit... AND how exactly OP can dump the brother, smartie?
DKjazz 20
There are plenty of good ways to dump him. You could dump him off of a building, for instance. Or into a vat of acid. Or into a trash compactor.
Anyb0dyTh 8
By getting a new roommate. Duh!
NightHawk387 22
Your brother is a dick.
aligater10 7
Good thing it was sooner than later