Today, my girlfriend asked me how big the Sun would be compared to the Earth. I didn't have anything on me to help demonstrate, so to imitate the Earth, I made a small hole with my index finger and thumb and said "Okay, imagine a ball this small." She then looked at my crotch. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, and she asked me if I ever get made fun of in the locker room for my small penis. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were snuggling and we placed our hands together, palm to palm. I can bend the tips of my fingers over hers, which apparently surprised her because she commented, "Huh, so big hands AREN'T related to penis size." FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were having a casual conversation, when the topic suddenly became my penis. Before I knew what was going on, she said, "It's not the size that matters though. It's how you use it. So I guess you're ok." FML
Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML
Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend about his views on personal growth. He replied, "What, you mean dick size?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
killabee 0
So? Maybe it's just me but giant testes really aren't a must-have quality in a man.
just_nicole 1
pahahahaha tht sux, but it made me laugh(:
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (118)
oldenuff2party 3
small nuggets? I personally have quite large testicles and not such a large penis....*sighs*
megann345 0
lmaooo . wow , tht sucks .
xoxo31 0
hahahaha she's funny
lexibug 0
LMAO!
toriasky 0
lol wow what a stupid girlfriend
epicnessx0 0
if u still wanna know lol... earth= golf ball sun= washing machine
TelleoStar 0
Dude, I dunno what size your fingers are, but if they're anything like the rest of the world's, it sounds to me like that's a pretty reasonable size for your balls to be...
ken12317 7
talk about belittling someone i feel for you OP
yoursmile 0
lol , Mann that's a bummer Dx ilike yur gf thoe lmaao
completefatazz 0
Ur gf is funny lmao