Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
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Top comments
mozrox 0
Uh... Is your girlfriend really that sensitive? Who the hell cries because someone moved them out of the way? YDI for having a pussy as a girlfriend.
jonnymohio 2
You and your girlfriend are both at fault. She, for being a crybaby drunk, and you for being a hothead drunk. Take some anger management classes.
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Comments (144)
parabola 0
irishfest wahey! hate being irish tho
DrMorbid 0
This is either fake or your girlfriend did this on purpose to you (a sick joke maybe). Or she's just plain stupid. But this seems more like a fake because I just can't believe that none of you two noticed.
omfgitsldw 0
(I actually told my friend the story and he wrote the story nV1ous and you cant get the full story in 300 characters) I heard this from friend who i guess was there but the chief of police was off duty, and the guy was actually not drunk at all, he was just buying the beer for his gf. I guess the guy actually lifted her up physically moved her from her spot and thats when she got flustered. He was standing up for her and poured it on him, after that he showed the id showing thats hes a cop and had to escort him to an actual on duty cop. So, guy wasnt drunk...police wasnt in uniform
Niv_fml 0
What a terrible, senseless waste of beer.
vendris 5
You totally deserve it. Even if it was no cop, what makes you think you got the right to pour beer over other people?
Plumppotato 3
holy shit she got pushed. alert the police. wait...
ladiesman14 0
I think plexico would agree with me if he was my step dad. NEVER mess with people, you dont know if they are carrying a GUN, KNIFE, a knockout Mike Tyson punch, or a MMA wannabe with anger managment issues. I would have broken a glass on your head and said "stop trying to rob me". Thats all the witness's would have heard :] And yeah girlfriends are for ******* or manly jerk ahole guys like me who ignore them but still get all the action.
DeathShad0 1
I hate guys that try to always be the hero for a girl. YDI for making me want to punch my monitor.
randomness28 0
Ionno, this situation doesn't really make me feel bad for any of you. Considering the guy was a cop, he should know better then to push someone around, even for a good purpose. Your girlfriend really cried about being pushed once? To be fair, I don't know to what intensity, but I doubt the cop would be too rough. As for you, well, pouring beer on someone is just a bad move.
thingymajig 0
wtf, why would she be crying if someone pushed her?