Today, my girlfriend and I went to a bar during Irishfest. When I returned to my girlfriend she was crying and told me that this guy pushed her. I confronted the guy and poured my beer on him who just happened to be the chief of police. He was trying to make room for a guy in a wheelchair. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw a drunk guy hitting on a girl sitting alone at the bar. She insisted that her boyfriend was there, but he didn't relent. So I went over and put my arm around her and asked "Who's this guy?" He walked away, but then I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was her boyfriend. He broke my arm. FML
Today, I went to a bar with a close friend. She got drunk and was feeling sick, so I carried her to my car to take her to her house. Some stranger accused me of drugging her and tackled me with her in my arms. She threw up on me, and he took off running without an apology. FML
Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML
Today, I got bailed out of jail. I was there because I saw a girl being hit by her boyfriend. I rushed over to help only to have her hit me repeatedly. The cops came and she blamed her bruises on me. The boyfriend corroborated her story. FML
Today, I watched a drunk guy getting thrown out of a bar, then get tased on the sidewalk outside. He was our designated driver. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML
Today, I got tackled by a bouncer in a club and handed to police for spiking my date's drink. It was an ice cube. I'd asked the barman for some ice cubes, which I put in both my drink and hers, and someone assumed I was slipping her a roofie and reported me. FML
Today, I decided to be responsible and call a cab to take my drunk ass home from the bar. As I climbed into the cab, I was quickly pulled back out and had the shit beaten out of me by a group of drunk guys who thought they needed the ride more. The police soon arrived and arrested us all. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
mozrox 0
Uh... Is your girlfriend really that sensitive? Who the hell cries because someone moved them out of the way? YDI for having a pussy as a girlfriend.
jonnymohio 2
You and your girlfriend are both at fault. She, for being a crybaby drunk, and you for being a hothead drunk. Take some anger management classes.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (144)
The_Dame 0
Sorry, friend, but your girlfriend's a ******' wuss.
Lifelooser_fml 0
Police are horrible creatures, 99% or them. It's a pitty, there is nothing you can do about it and police know it. I bet he 'moved' her asside nice and hard. I don't know about the police there, but cops here in Aust have no shame. Don't come and visit, they love ******* up tourists.
ladiesman14 0
ancient chinese scholar say 2 pussy in relationship bad unless both are lesbian.
allie2590 31
You're an idiot, and your girlfriend needs to stop being such a crybaby. People get pushed in bars all the time. 99% of the time it's not even intentional.
plasticspoons 0
YDI for having a shitty girlfriend. You have my sympathies, friend.
ravenscorne 0
wow. Both of you need to GROW the **** up! I mean, as a girl you don't cry just because someone pushed you. And as a guy confronting another man, you don't just go up to them and pour beer all over their head. That's something even 12 year olds can handle, so you have no sympathy from me. In my opinion, if either one of you had even a thought in your head, this situation could've been been avoided. That said, a 12 year old can handle it with more grace than you could. YDI.
mimi0mfg 1
the chief of police should post a fml: today, while i was helping a guy in a wheelchair to get into a bar, i accidentally pushed a woman and her boyfriend dumped beer all over me.
HornetsHornets 0
Path of peace, ************, do you know it?
Darthbane2007 19
You and your girlfriend deserve it. Unless the Police Chief physically pushed her out of the way with enough force as to knock her down, she's a wuss. And you shouldn't have poured beer on him. Say for instance the guy wasn't the police chief, and he was just a regular joe with his buddies, and they saw you pour beer over him?
cooly1100 0
girls get u in trouble Mann