By Nick - 08/07/2011 05:19 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML
I agree, your life sucks 59 371
You deserved it 11 745

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You're doing it wrong.

party foul on her part

Well, he's doing something, but it sure ain't his girlfriend.

3 years and you still didn't get laid? she's more of a man than you

And you're still with her? ffs.

if you ain't fuckin yo woman somebody else is!

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#88-no... Really?:O

when it pop's out do a jig while singing "it ain't mine so I don't gotta pay for it"

But she's doing it right!

121. I think he was referring to still calling her his girlfriend after that happened. Chill man.

it could be the return of Jesus?

121 - in a lot of cases regarding religion, unless the person is really into the religion and strictly follows it (which honestly MOST teens and young adults find that hard since there's so much shit to do that contradicts a lot of religion). Maybe she just didn't like you like that OP but was too chicken to break up with you. A possible example could be that my ex never kissed me other than just little pecks even when we were together for 5 months, and she refused to take pictures with me(not as bad as sex, but anyways..) now I see that she's done ALL of that stuff with her next few boyfriends. My point being that she didn't want to be with me, but was too chicken to tell me so she went off and did stuff with other guys (after we broke up. Im pretty sure she didn't cheat on me) but anyways. Fyl OP I feel for you =/

Well she dont want to wait so guesse sex is important

I think 47 was trying to point that OP's girlfriend slept with someone else and obviously didn't respect OP's decision to stay virgin for some reason.

it could have been worse, like of it was yours

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Where the hell did you hear that? Nothing against religious folks, but being a virgin and getting pregnant is impossible. Well, next to impossible, but I'd rather not delve into the nitty gritty details. : {]

wow really!!! how can that happen? does the guy throw his sperm at her vagina like spiderman casts his web!!! (sarcasm)

Hot and smart? ;o

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hw much cheap wine have you drunk?

hw much cheap wine have you drunk?

Be optimistic! Maybe she's carrying Jesus #2!

How the fuck can you get pregnant if u still a virgin???

Sperm on a womans leg for example. Hand-job + masturbation. ALOT of ways!

That story was a famous hoax, 341.

373 and everyone else asking how you can be a pregnant virgin -- it's called 'precum' it's that tiny bit of cum that leaks out when you get aroused. if a penis is close enough to the vagina to get it inside then it can happen. RARE but it can. it can also happen anally. ALSO RARE.

I think he was actually indicating to the fact that she got impregnated by another dude.

Yup. In the words of Gregory House... "You can get pregnant by sitting on the toilet seat. There has to be a guy between you and the toilet seat, though."

47 said "and you're still with her?" i'm guessing that it's geared toward OP's girlfriends fidelity

#387 excluding artificial means you have to actually have sex to get pregnant. Precum has a high sperm count but the sperms dont travel fast enough to reach and fertilize an egg. As for getting impregnated "anally" I have to ask if you're retarded?

that's so messed up :/ I'm sorry fyl but hey at least it wasn't alot more

haha, some girls are impatient with noobs....

It's spelled a lot not alot... just sayin'

124 - I care. so I thumbed it up. so you were wrong saying that nobody cares. you fail. I win. k?

124- I care too. "A lot" should never be "alot". Because "alot" isn't a word. -_- People who type it, are either stupid, lazy, or their space bar is hard to press for some reason and only press it for necessary words, and "a lot" doesn't seem to important to them.

what the hell OP? 3 years & no sex? what are you 10?

Wow I seriously got thumbed down for some stupid shit like that? Also, if you're going to be picky about it make sure you use perfect grammar yourself. Anyway a lot of you miss the point

'why can't I speak the way I want and if u understand my point then why the hell do u have to care if I used the wrong spelling or grammar.' Because there are other people out here who don't have English as their native language. Which means that, if you write the way you want, it becomes harder and harder for us to understand your comment.

People thumbed you down because they took your comment to mean: "It could have been worse" to which most people would respond: "She was with him for 3 years and cheated on him. How could it be worse." Perhaps you should have been clearer with your wording.

well the people that are bitching about it all seem to sleek 'perfect' emglish they are cunts that probably call everyone ignorant, you slut

@229 Ahah ha. It's funny cause you didn't put a point at the end.

"Alot" is a word by the way; it's a verb similar to the verb "give out." I'm just saying it should be "a lot" but "alot" is in fact a word.

Actually... You fail. Haha.

lol my gf's name is Mary.

13, that should say somthin man. haha

Virgin birth? Inconceivable!

the power of Christ compels you!!!! lol

I'm Jewish, so at first I didn't get the comment, but then 40's comment helped me get it. Also, Bwaahahaa! Inconceivable, get it?

115...yeah..thats the joke..thank you captain obvious

even Jews are well aware of the story of Mary. just say you aren't religious because obviously you don't actually follow Judaism.

wasn't there 2 mary's one virgin one whore? lol

yeah one was his mum and one was his wife

13 that's exactly what I was thinking

you were thinking that 13s girlfriends name was mary? thats just creepy.

147- Yes, there was virgin Mary & Mary Magdelene; the prostitute.

this is one of the best comments I've ever seen of FML.. Good job sir

Dude, after having a happy relationship for 3 years and NOT having sex, wouldn't you catch on to her little secret?

yea u need to fuck on the first date

guys that are virgins are 10 time cuter! in my opinion(:

how is that possible

Well, virgin's ARE cute, but there are plenty of non-virgins who are cute too. Cuteness simply depends of the independent.

dump her sorry ass and the kid is not yours so you don't have to raise it. you're free!

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101- completely disagree, she chose to go fuck around with someone else, she should hold him finically responsible for raising this kid not the OP. True it's not the child's fault but that doesn't make it the OPs responsibility. OP get out now!

101 - it is not his kid. Why should he "help out" his cheating girlfriend. Let her go to the fathet for help.

101 you sir are retarded. why if the child is not mine would I stick my neck out so that the next 18 years of MY life I'm paying for her mistake. OP it's time to jump ship you can't be to far from shore

Why should he help his cheating girlfriend raise somebody else's child? That's just stupid. Let her tell the kid's father if she needs help. Run. Don't walk.

101 I feel what you are saying but at the same time she cheated so the father needs to take care of his business, if the father isn't in the picture then that is a different situation.

tweetbaby14 18

101, why should he help? it's his money and not his kid, so hmm.... would you help someone that not only cheated on you but that also got pregnant in the process of being a whore? I know I wouldn't... then again I don't have a penis.... nor am I a cheating whore....

why dump her? youve got 9 solid months of guaranteed contraception growing inside of her. i say use the 9 months to your advantage and move on.

101, So... You're saying that OP should suffer & go through that bullshit cause his (hopefully ex) girlfriend was a cheating whore? That doesn't seem very fair... Or at all reasonable.

why should OP take care of it if it's not his? that's dumb and a waste of time and money.. she cheated, time to dumb her sorry skank ass and move on..

are you kidding me? I feel like hitting you with a stapler

What the hell? you were with her for THREE YEARS and never once had sex with her? That's crazy.

3 years down the drain.. what a waste of time

Some people choose to wait, maybe that's what op was doing. It shows that he respects his girlfriend at least. It's just too bad she didn't return the favor.

So, waiting with sex is more respectful than having sex? Interesting.

@116 it doesnt show that at all. it shows how important sex is to him, and nothing more. you can still treat someone like shit but act the hero by not having sex. and i dont see why 70 was thumbed down, she cheated on him, its 3 years wasted when he could have been with someone else. theyre right.

o today's society...

Your Sperm are Ninjas so... it's only logic!!!

Your face combined with your comment scares me.

#7 that's gold! so funny

she reminds me of a barbie doll, the hair and the not thinking part...

what's wrong with your face?

Have you ever considered seeing a therapist? Or even maybe going back to high school biology? :|

she looks like the joker.. o_o

uhhh 84 looks like a barbie doll, too?

Last time that happened, someone wrote a book about it. We call it "The Bible."

but the bible is a little different cause the female is the virgin in that story

They wanted to mix it up a little for the sequel.

bwahahahaha! that's some funny shit!

uhh... congratulations!!!

3 years and no sex? Woah.

yeah, talk about a dry spell; it's a fucking drought. i guess that's why she had to go and get some dna in her all slick-like. op, unless, you're sure you're dating divinity, then do what needs doing and dump the douche. |the kid|