Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML
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Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my normally-prudish girlfriend grabbed my crotch and said, "I want you to fuck me like I've never been fucked." I obliged. She loved it, until after we'd finished, when she decided that she felt "cheap, gross, and used" and started a huge fight. FML
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed that I was a "filthy, sex-crazed pig-man" because I grabbed her ass. We were in her house, alone, and she was in the middle of giving me a long, deep kiss after I'd gotten off work. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML
Today, I had sex with my wife. After we finished and were cuddling, she said, "This is the part I like." FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my boyfriend of two years said he would finally take me somewhere romantic. I spent my day at a Star Wars convention. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time. After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references, I gave up. FML
Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML
Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML
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Top comments
skyeyez9 25
its funny what couples do once they are comfortable with each other.
nel15 0
LOL. She's a keeper!
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Comments (74)
Bananaaa_fml 0
hey, dont dis 14 year olds coz im 14 and my boyfriend dosnt take 2 days to get intamite with me. So dont bring other ages into this, it is obviously all his fault, he's a douche.
Maxine17 8
I can only reply with "14 year old slag" for this.
Bananaaa_fml 0
meh
IIzSuperGirl 0
El Oh El
haiblowmeplox_fml 0
Do you have some form of Downs syndrome?
Mischief109 11
I honestly hope you're joking about being 14. If you're serious, f your parents lives...
rahhal 0
I think she's adorable. Maybe she's more into, well, the finer sex? >:3 I'll take her off your hands!
Mayz_fml 0
LOL, this made my day.
poeticvibez07 0
I'm asking the same question that #2 is asking
Killian12593 0
lol.........
Kibeth 0
Haha! I am such a Star Wars nerd
omghehehe 0
:D hahaha.... loved the lightsaber touch!!! it really is fun when ur into ea other to do things like that!!! ;) But she sounds young/inexperieced if she doesnt know what the fuss is about!
whyy_mee 0
wow, is she a blonde? definately a keeper. xD
gogogoalie 0
ditch that bitch
WhatsUPFool 0
Pop her cherry, obviously virgin. Or dump the bitch. Or keep her, I don't care, never post again.