Animals: Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a... - FML

By whykarma - 26/03/2013 21:17 - United States - Waxhaw

Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 926

You deserved it 3 499

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 03/09/2012 02:07 - United States - Southfield

Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 460

You deserved it 2 485

By Lizofsmeg - 26/10/2009 16:24 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 365

You deserved it 2 658

By mykhael - 21/08/2013 18:58 - United States - Opelousas

Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 132

You deserved it 7 479

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 278

You deserved it 9 704

By stupiddog - 15/04/2014 12:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 374

You deserved it 5 280

Windy day

By Tree - 21/03/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 135

Who's a good boy?

By Anonymous - 08/05/2020 20:00

Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 402

You deserved it 226

Cujo 2: Electric Boogaloo

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML

I agree, your life sucks 992

You deserved it 1 253

By trgtyo - 18/05/2009 23:20 - United States

Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our livingroom wall with a painted one. Of our German Sheperd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 712

You deserved it 3 618

By panda - 03/03/2011 11:20

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 263

You deserved it 6 288

Next

Top comments

error404n0tf0und 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:03

keep him away from your pet rock!!

DrJesse 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:07

At least you know if that Travelocity bastard tries to kill you,your dog will **** his work up.

Comments

error404n0tf0und 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:03

keep him away from your pet rock!!

TwitchingNebula 17

Wednesday 27 March 2013 21:16

German shepherds have a thing for rocks...pet or not.

DrJesse 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:07

At least you know if that Travelocity bastard tries to kill you,your dog will **** his work up.

that1guyyy 12

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:07

I smell viral video?

pugpuggy 21

Sunday 23 November 2014 22:22

Ugh, what the **** is that smell? It smells like shit.

zandalee 19

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:10

Gotta stop getting your dog stoned OP...

error404n0tf0und 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:26

pun intended?

error404n0tf0und 21

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:30

because I didn't get your stone! ;)

gc327072 30

Wednesday 27 March 2013 23:05

^error 404 joke not found.

KingDead 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:12

'Why karma' is his title.. Makes me wonder if he's truly worried about inanimate objects.. What'd you do OP?! Haha

mcaisse77 17

Wednesday 27 March 2013 11:18

I think Karma is op's dog's name. It's very common for a dog to be named Karma.

PincessBoff 6

Wednesday 27 March 2013 16:15

Karma's a bitch, right?

KingDead 18

Wednesday 27 March 2013 21:47

Ah, thanks #24, that makes much more sense heh..

LovesSushi 25

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:13

Growing up, we had a golden lab that would bark at rocks all the time. He would get mad because he could not grab them. But when he was able to, man oh man, that was one happy dog! I feel for ya.

botanistjessica 24

Wednesday 27 March 2013 13:13

My new puppy tries to eat rocks. And sticks. And paper. It's very hard to take her outside!

Barhinder 9

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:16

It could have been something in the paint. I do the same at Home Hardware...

xeka 10

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:17

That rock could do more damage then you know!

dinosxxrawr 22

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:22

you'll regret doubting your dog when rocks take over the world.

whatnow430 15

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:38

They already have, theyre everywhere man!

perdix 29

Wednesday 27 March 2013 13:17

#9, don't worry, the dog also has aspirations of World Domination. Stay on his good side and you'll be OK.

guitarbeast 22

Wednesday 27 March 2013 9:24

Just wait till the rock revolution. You'll be happy when your dog keeps you safe from those stony bastards.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Relatable Coworkers Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Technology Mental health Health Anxiety Sleep Clumsy Noise Roommate AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

Today, I have been getting calls from a weird kid from my school asking for nudes. I asked how he got my number, then found out that my friends put my number on a pole at school that says, "Call Wendy for a good time, she has nice tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 3 568

The Top

Today, I called a possible employer I had an interview with about a week ago to see if I had got the job that I have already been trained for. Her response? "Are you sure I interviewed you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 548

You deserved it 3 045

Today, I’ve been sick for 3 weeks and by now I can hardly even distinguish whether I feel weak and shitty due to A) still being sick, B) lack of exercise (caused by A), or C) severe depression (caused by B). FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 85

Today, I went on a beach date, so I wore flip flops. When she showed up, she took one look at me and said, “I could never date a guy who shaves his feet” and left. This from the girl wearing socks with her sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 795

You deserved it 482

Today, I got my braces off. I also got my tongue pierced. Both by my orthodontist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 555

You deserved it 3 412

Today, I tried hitting on the new receptionist at work. After a few flirtatious comments and subtly hinting that I thought she was bangable, she informed me that she's married to our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 445

You deserved it 44 962

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 686

You deserved it 3 128