Love and Geek: Fashion Police

By To shave or not to shave - Canada - Ajax

Today, I went on a beach date, so I wore flip flops. When she showed up, she took one look at me and said, “I could never date a guy who shaves his feet” and left. This from the girl wearing socks with her sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4727

You deserved it

471

Favorite

Love

Geek

Broken bum

On the ball

It's not unusual

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49709

You deserved it

3626

Favorite

By Jules

Today, the first day of school, I threw up on my teacher in the middle of class. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3269

You deserved it

266

Favorite

By asdfghjkl - United States

Today, I saw Saw IV with my boyfriend. He held me close and said, "I'll protect you." A few seconds later, he jumped up so violently, he gave me a bloody nose, and ran screaming out of the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35220

You deserved it

3903

Favorite

By Anonymous - 22/5/2020 05:00

Yeet it

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1233

You deserved it

1032

Favorite

By LightsOut - United States

Today, I finished working a 70 hour work week. I'm a lineman for the electric company, and worked extended hours all week getting people's lights back on after a wind storm. When I got home, my power was out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

43457

You deserved it

3117

Favorite

By fml9124 - 22/10/2020 02:00 - United States

Mixology

Today, my wife is out of town on business. So I got drunk. Really drunk. Felt like swimming around midnight (we live in Arizona). Jumped in the pool… and forget how to swim. Too uncoordinated, I almost drowned. Then I threw up in the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks

291

You deserved it

2200

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I tried to stage an intervention for a friend who abuses drugs. I ended up with my hair on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32295

You deserved it

4235

Favorite

By Fabio - Malta - Piet?

Today, my girlfriend started insulting me on Facebook. Angry and hurt, I let it all out and insulted her back with her obesity. Turns out it was her brother who used her account to play a "prank" on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8941

You deserved it

19816

Favorite

By Ooops - Canada

Baked

Today, I kept smelling the pleasant odor of baking bread while driving around. Tonight, I realized that the smell of yeast was actually coming from a cup of moldy smoothie that got missed and left in a cup holder in the back of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1153

You deserved it

518

Favorite

By yeshehaspornaddiction - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, my boyfriend told me to completely shave off all of my already-groomed pubic area because, "It looks so unnatural." Ignoring the obvious lack of logic, I asked him why he keeps his totally ungroomed. Turns out "Men having hair is okay. Women aren't supposed to, though." FML

I agree, your life sucks

56794

You deserved it

13345

Favorite

By TheMysteriousTsundere

Today, my dad threw out all my food because a fly landed on a loaf of bread still in its package. He claims the bread and everything else that touched it is "contaminated". That was all the food I had for the rest of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2783

You deserved it

145

Favorite

By knobbed - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks

58812

You deserved it

4864

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart when I ran into this stalker chick. She introduced me to her baby. He's named after me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36119

You deserved it

2921

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, in the spirit of Christmas, I let a spider live in my room. I normally kill them, because I'm scared of waking up with one on my face. I woke up with it on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34775

You deserved it

23548

Favorite

By Anonymous - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks

74079

You deserved it

3519

Favorite

By lakatkat - United States

Today, I found out on facebook that my supposed best friend bought a concert ticket to a show. The concert ticket was the exact same amount as the plane ticket she told me she couldn't afford to come see me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

41654

You deserved it

6380

Favorite

By cndpost - Canada

Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9794

You deserved it

42562

Favorite

By Junior - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56573

You deserved it

2938

Favorite

By sarah - United States

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13185

You deserved it

47173

Favorite

By "deerling" - United States - Phoenix

Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year old Brother heard me and started crying and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about that time his sister farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1850

You deserved it

301

Favorite

By TheStressComesFree - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46160

You deserved it

3337

Favorite

By Anonymous - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18562

You deserved it

51351

Favorite

By No thanks - United States

Today, I was called a bitch and "freaky as hell" because I don't like watermelon. I'm sorry, but just because I'm black doesn't mean I like watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14519

You deserved it

1479

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19140

You deserved it

78419

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom tells my sister that she is worried about her because she has a headache and feels like she might be getting a slight cold. I have had the flu for two weeks and have a 103 degree fever. I ask, "What about me?" Her response? "Stay away from your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks

36168

You deserved it

2903

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Portland

Today, while cleaning my son's room, I found an envelope labelled "PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL" under his bed. I opened it, only to find it was a glitter bomb. I couldn't get it all cleaned off myself before he got home. He just said "HAH! Serves you right!" and went to his room smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20596

You deserved it

62217

Favorite

By Anonymous - 15/6/2020 08:09

So wrong

Today, my boyfriend came over to meet my family. When I told him I had an autistic brother before he came in, he immediately broke up with me because he claimed autism is another word for overprotective. I've been dating an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1727

You deserved it

195

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Newnan

Today, I was listening to a local radio station, and they did a segment called "food porn." As they were sexually describing various types of food, I actually found myself getting turned on over a pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37791

You deserved it

10004

Favorite

By em from Cali - United States - Visalia

Today, a homeless lady decided she needed to change underwear in the middle of the sidewalk. I turned around just in time to see her legs in the air with no undies on. I can never eat salami again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25388

You deserved it

2505

Favorite

By Anonymous - 31/5/2020 02:03

Priorities

Today my husband cried tears of joy because we now have dates for : 1 - When our son can go back to school, and 2 - When the pubs will reopen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1142

You deserved it

288

Favorite

By Forgotten Birthday Girl

Today, it's my birthday. I am a triplet. In my first class, everyone sang happy birthday to my sister. Her friends got her balloons too. My other sister's friends got her flowers. Everyone forgot I was their sister and all of my own friends forgot that it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4845

You deserved it

263

Favorite

By Anonymous - 16/12/2020 05:02 - Germany - Emden

Triage

Today, I realised that Gmail has been sending lots of important messages directly into the spam folder, where I never saw them. All were from people who I had either contacted myself, or had regular contact with in the past. One address even had a filter on it, specifying, "Never send it to spam." FML

I agree, your life sucks

1035

You deserved it

116

Favorite

By yum - United States - Sylmar

Today, I was drinking from a cup with a built-in straw. After taking a long sip, I noticed a weird taste. Upon investigation, I found a small caterpillar wedged inside the straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48182

You deserved it

4306

Favorite

By How? - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2929

You deserved it

188

Favorite

By brittrod - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29930

You deserved it

3366

Favorite

By jen - United States

Today, I realized I have no life after I created a fake Facebook account, posted an insulting message on my wall, and then engaged in a vicious argument with it, just so I could impress my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12275

You deserved it

57486

Favorite

By katharine - United States

Today, I was daydreaming in bed when my phone rang from across the room. I scrambled out of my covers, tripped over a pair of boots I had by the bed, and slipped on some jeans laying on the floor. Luckily, I answered my phone in time, but only to have my mom tell me to clean my room before she got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks

8027

You deserved it

30509

Favorite

By Anonymous

Hair of the dog

Today, I spent 15 minutes scrubbing the bathtub, just to have my roommate come home and give their dog a bath in it. They didn't even rinse it or pull the hair out. I don't know what makes it more annoying, that I'm 6 months pregnant and do all the cleaning while working full-time, or that we have a hose outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1430

You deserved it

181

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my biology teacher told me that every Friday we should wear a hideous shirt to count down the last days of freshman year. So when Friday came around we decided to have a contest for most hideous shirt. I won. I forgot to wear a hideous shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66081

You deserved it

10441

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, my neighbor came over and yelled at me for traumatizing her kids. What did I do? Nothing. Her kids entered my back yard, dug up my 1-month-dead hamster and freaked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

49787

You deserved it

3416

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By RichardPencil | 29

#7599819 - Friday 16 February 2018 2:06

What? A beach date in Canada in February? Either they are lying or climate change is going wild!

I've never shaven my feet, and I have virtually no hair on my feet! She's probably got hairy hobbit feet, hence the socks in sandals, and wants to procreate with another hairy troll.