By stupiddog - 15/04/2014 12:08 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 361
You deserved it 5 275

Same thing different taste


I'm gonna get crap for this but... ...a gun is pretty favorable in this kind of situation.

jman26 11

#17 I agree with you. If a watchdog doesn't help, at least OP would have a backup plan.

scice03 8

Guns do whatever you tell them to do..

Only criminals get guns in California. Because, taking guns out of the hands of law abiding citizens will totally make the streets safer... just not for them, for the criminal who no longer has any fear of reproach. Texas and well, most of the south is full of extremely polite, nice people, because they're all well armed and know that everyone else is. Kinda xenophobic, but they're working on it. Turns out, making people be nice to each other is as simple as arming all of them.

#24 Every city has bad people. There is no way around it. It's life and the live among us. We all have to figure out how to live with them though.

#24: I live and was raised in the South, and can assure you that people don't respect others simply because they are under the assumption that they are surrounded by weapons. We are raised to respect people for being people. I know more people who don't own a weapon and never have any intention of owning a weapon, than those that do. I'm not against guns, but I think the Southern gun-toting stereotype is misleading and frightening to others.

yeah, but they're a lot less likely to do anything when everyone can respond in kind. Where would you mug someone: LA or Houston?

askullnamedbilly 33

Guns are made to kill people, not incapacitate them. If a crazed killer is about to attack you, a gun is pretty useless unless you manage to hit them in a vital part of their anatomy. Non-fatal gunshot wounds hurt, but they don't keep people from having a go at you and retaliating. That is why guns are shitty self-defense weapons - you want a weapon that immediately incapacitates your attacker, no matter where you hit them. Might I suggest a taser? It has the added benefit of not killing the perpetrator, which is pretty useful in case the 'robber' you're so scared of is actually a family member you didn't recognize in the dark.

Can we not have a debate about guns on FML? It kind of kills the mood (pun intended)

38- but when the effects of the taser wear off, what do you do then?

30, I live near Houston and I can tell you there are plenty of muggings, and violence. Get your facts straight before you start posting shit like that.

ninety 25

@38 - you do know tasers don't actually knock people out, right? As soon as you quit using it the other guy can just get right back up.

That's a good thing, but why didn't the guy getting robbed actually do something. Even if I had no weapon I would try to protect myself.

he did.... hence telling the dogs to attack...

Dodge4x4Ram 46

He capitalized S I T. It still was stupid.

If you don't like then that's your opinion, as you can see 300+ people do enjoy puns. So your individual opinion amongst everyone else's doesn't actually matter in this situation. If you don't like the pun made then thumb it down and move on with your life. it's not that hard to do.

102 - Your lyrics were a bit off. Nice try though. ^^

#128 stop pretending to be intelligent by posting long-winded comments. People like this pun because it's funny. Oh, and how is the entire concept of puns too old? Jokes don't have expiration dates.

GotItWow 13

Got to love dogs. You had a Hairy time didn't you with those furballs?

I've always wondered if this would work with Police dogs, if you know the commands.

Most dogs used for military or police respond to commands in German.

They're also trained to one master (one solider or one officer) whereas family dogs are likely trained to be obedient to all members of the family.

I never knew that commands in German sounds almost the same as English o.o I might tell my friend to try it

TheDrifter 23

They're fairly different. And the police dogs are trained to respond only to their handler and people in police uniforms. I had a retired police dog, great pet, just takes a week or two with their old handler so they recognise and respond to you.

Sathane 21

Nope. Properly trained protection dogs only, like my boys, only listen to their trainer. You could throw a big steak at them and they won't touch it unless I say so.

damnit1989 16

I don't know why everyone have the comment about German a thumbs down. It's true

I have worked alongside military dogs on a deployment, they are not trained to only obey one person. And the commands were in English. I was tempted to ask for a bite suit and to test my theory, but I moved to a different assignment before I got an opportunity. Police and other militaries may be different.

crazytwinsmom 25

A guard dog in the back of a truck was barking at me when I was talking to the driver. I yelled at the dog "oh shut up", and he stopped barking.

it doesn't. the police train their dogs to listen to them and only them. its pretty cool :)


My friends dog is protection and service trained. He will obey anyone he knows until she puts him in protection mode. Then no one can come in the house - even her husband.

I like how you say she puts him in protection mode LOL like a switch

I'm American and I use German commands for my Labrador It's a lot of fun when no one else can give my dog orders but me.. hehe

CurlyQute 17

Dogs need more training sometimes OP good luck

olpally 32

Lol, should have told the dogs to call the cops, since they're so well trained. damn. Hope they didn't get away!

This made me burst out laughing. "911, what's your emergency?" "RUFF RUFF"

Ah, dogs - a robber's best friends!