Today, my German Shepherd decided to bark at, then attack, a painted rock. At least I know I'm protected from inanimate objects. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
Today, I was walking in the park when I was hit on the shin by a red ball. I was confused, until it was followed by an enormous German Shepherd dog going at top speed. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML
Today, my house was robbed. My two 70-pound German Shepherds obeyed me when I told them to attack. They also obeyed the robber when he said, "Sit". FML
Today, my dog was about to get hit by a tree branch, so I yelled for him to move. He got mad and started barking at me. And got nailed by the tree branch. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I was mauled by my own dog. I own a Chihuahua. FML
Today, I noticed my parents replaced my senior picture that hung on our living room wall with a painted one. Of our German Shepherd. FML
Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML
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Top comments
error404n0tf0und 21
keep him away from your pet rock!!
DrJesse 10
At least you know if that Travelocity bastard tries to kill you,your dog will **** his work up.
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Comments (50)
DommeAshlee 11
My dog attacks random plants. They are an odd animal.
DuRpY 5
Well, I was going to say that a painted rock is sort of out of the ordinary, and that your dog was perhaps simply reacting to something it doesn't see everyday. But then I remembered that dogs see in black and white, so now I have nothing. And then I decided to still go ahead and make a post pointing out the fact that I have nothing constructive whatsoever to add to this particular FML. Not unlike so many others...
xgetxbentx 13
Actually, dogs can see certain colors. They just don't see them as clearly as humans. Primary colors are the most clear.
karlcolt45 19
it looked at him cross ways!
ButterPopcorn 14
I'm pretty sure Goliath would have loved to have your dog when fighting David.
metalcrazed 21
It's called playing.
KatjaM 15
Don't feel so bad OP, my dog barks at his own poop sometimes.
xgetxbentx 13
Perhaps there was a bug you didn't see, but unless he's a trained attack dog, that's not abnormal. Animals attack weird shit.
Faff 20
your use of commas confuses me, OP.
helloimclaudia 30
How is this a FML? Your dog was just playing, OP
TheNewGuy03 29
Sorry to correct you, OP, but it's a German *Shepherd*. In other news, the rocks of this world have much to fear...
Tavers 19
No, OP's obviously talking about his German Commander Shepard... Geez, people sometimes! Lol