Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, the pictures from last night's party were put on Facebook. The pictures that show me getting in a drunken fight with a girl and her putting my face through the wall. FML
Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I was trying to convince a friend that even though I'm blonde, I'm not the oblivious or stupid moron everyone apparently thinks I am. Then I smacked face-first into a glass door. FML
Today, I gave the back door a slight nudge to make sure it was latched shut. Of course, it flew wide open, causing me to smash my face into the doorframe, fall out onto the back porch writhing in pain, and have blood pissing out of my face. FML
Today, a drunk in a wheelchair tried to fight me. I walked away as he kept hurling insults. He then rammed his chair into my legs, making me fall. I walked away again. Upon the second time, I got up and punched him dead in his face, knocking him backward. I was tackled to the ground for hitting him. FML
Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML
Today, I lost my house keys while staggering home drunk, so I decided to climb through an opened window and promptly went to bed. Twenty minutes later the police wake me up while attempting to search my place. The neighbors thought I was a burglar and called the cops. FML
Today, I got so drunk that I tasered myself in the balls as a joke, fell down my friend's porch stairs and rolled out into the street. FML
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Top comments
BananaCoconutty 26
You should have "knocked" out the door
milehigh52 22
You took that “I ran into a door" excuse a little too far.
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Comments (49)
tehdarkness 21
I feel lucky that in the days of my shenanigans, there wasn't always someone there to record. Back then if you couldn't remember it, it didn't happen.
ohSNAPyall 27
What a knob.
chaseafterwind82 29
After fighting the door did you then break down sobbing, and tearfully apologise to it?
hasooon 24
Youtube link, or it didn't happen.
EcoAirWarrior 7
It's amusing how individuals repeatedly regretfully recall misdemeanours or humiliating acts committed while intoxicated by alcohol yet go on to again consume excessive amounts of alcohol and humiliate themselves again.Its very amusing at least for those who dont dridrink alcohol like yours truly
worldclassrager 41
Door 1 OP 0
BiGTiMeNeRD 29
You're such a door-k.
DerekDayOne 12
Video?
savagetitan 13
The door slammed you shut.
ohSNAPyall 27
Sounds like the door busted him wide open.
LazyLion 12
Rematch?