Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
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Top comments
amdraxx 1
Do a count each time you arrive and each time you leave. Nobody likes a loose snake
IvyOswin 17
Now's your chance to learn if you're an heir of Slytherin!
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Comments (73)
heryseshta 9
I would love it if that happened to me! Snakes are amazing creatures and most are harmless. I can't understand why so many people are terrified of them.
xebi 4
Same here #60 (and the same goes for spiders). My husband is terrified of snakes and can't even look at a picture of one.
jdcg116 10
Nice pair of boots just waiting to happen if they get loose. :-)
itooamscrewed 10
So?
thes7274473 19
Sounds fun to me! Just don't do anything stupid and make sure none of them get loose.
LightningNova 13
I would be thrilled.
demonfacee 14
Sometimes, we have to face our fears and right now is one of those times.
samm63 4
I've had a snake for years. They can go months without eating. A large bowl of water will last them a week if it's not too dry in the house. If he's a breeder he probably has musters in the tanks to spritz them on a timer. They would be perfectly fine for 12 days with nothing done.
samm63 4
That's MISTERS (water sprayers)
Levvy 22
"You can imagine my horror..." Were they in enclosures, rather than freely roaming the building? If so, then no, I can't really say I can.
amazinghermit 14
Find a friend who likes snakes. Buy lots of doll sweaters. Put on all the snakes. Profit. "Why are they wearing sweaters?! They dont even have arms!"