Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
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Top comments
amdraxx 1
Do a count each time you arrive and each time you leave. Nobody likes a loose snake
IvyOswin 17
Now's your chance to learn if you're an heir of Slytherin!
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Comments (73)
prussiawhore 14
What if he's not a snake breeder. What if you're letting his house be over run by wild or misplaced snakes.
assh0l3 4
Well good thing snakes eat about once a week. Only have to feed them once. But I'd love going there. Just make sure you ask which ones bite (; I'm guessing most won't tho.
_Lenah_ 20
Well, as long as they're not venomous, you're fine. If they're ball pythons, then I'm super jealous. But FYL for your neighbour not telling you first. That was very irresponsible of him.
Merridew 8
Start planning the revenge. You may think of some big hairy spiders, nasty rats etc. Pet them, choose a place for your vacation and don't forget to ask your kind neighbour to check in on your appartment.
Sansa_fml 38
Well I think snakes are awesome, but I do understand that most people don't share my ideas. It could be worse, if he'd asked you to feed them rats or anything.
DARKDAY07 16
Well if u don't like snakes I'll watch the app
PANDORUM89 21
He definitely should have told you however I personally find that exciting as I own two snakes myself. Lucky you!
Demonface54 20
I don't think he's doing that legally. I would get out of there.
_Bair_K_ 11
I hope someone's taking care of them. Most adult snakes can eat every two weeks, but as a breeder he may have youngsters that should be fed more often!
worldclassrager 41
Every few days....so it's not like daily...but please tell me they are caged
TypoFairy 20
Nope, OP's neighbor wants to raise them as natural as possible. Free range all the way! *shivers*