Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, I tried to impress the guy I like. He breeds reptiles, and I happen to have a snake and a lizard. I went over to his house to show them off. He opened the door just as my lizard fell between my boobs. He had to help me get it out. FML
Today, I went to the pet store to get mice for my mom's snakes. While checking out, the guy working behind the register asked what kind of snakes I had. I told him they were my mom's and he mentioned this crazy woman that talks to her snakes. That's my mom. FML
Today, when I warned my guests to check the toilet for snakes, I meant it. FML
Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML
Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML
Today, my roomate informed me that her snake was missing in our apartment again. Apparently, I need to be careful because the snake's attracted to blood. I'm on my period. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to cure me of my snake phobia by buying one. When he took it out of the cage, it bit him. Now he's terrified of them too. Even worse, he dropped the snake, so it's now loose in our house. FML
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML
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Top comments
amdraxx 1
Do a count each time you arrive and each time you leave. Nobody likes a loose snake
IvyOswin 17
Now's your chance to learn if you're an heir of Slytherin!
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Comments (73)
0o0o0 9
Why would it bother you that your neighbor is a snake breeder?
australianchick 8
Suck it up. I have a pet snake and they're fine!
Foxrabbit 9
Well, It would have been nice for him to warn you. At least you don't have to feed them.
repKyle95 24
I fail to see the problem here other than that you have an irrational fear.
kimmy88 3
wow. thats scary. lol
childproofpizza 19
Idk why but I'm not scared of snakes. I've been bit and I was fine (not venomous) it didnt rly hurt so ig I didnt care after that, same as how you dont fear your own cat tryna bite you after you see it doesn't hurt.