Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
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Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML
Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML
Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
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Top comments
missclash 0
smart.
jennaleigh 0
I look forward to hearing about your Darwin Award.
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Comments (117)
jesslackszazz 0
AHAHAHAHAHAHAH I'm sorry but that is hilarious.
slapper23 0
Finally a great FML..
deardaniel_fml 0
wth? why would you be embarass by people singing you a happy birthday? and its not like you`ll see the cute waiter again O.o
kwbuzz23wk 0
everyone go back and read the 1st 20... about 5 solid puns there, nice work commenters. and to the OP, get over it, you faked a birthday and made a fool of yourself and got free dessert. and screw you for commenting on your own FML and acting suprised that people are making fun of you, you use this site enough to have a picture and your acitng like your post would be the first one ever not to be made fun of
llamatrauma 5
get a sense of humour and learn to laugh at yourself. people singing happy birthday to you while you're wearing a sombrero isn't embarrassing.
vxjazz 0
Sucker.
yeahreally 6
LOL awww
SmoothTalker 0
LOLLERCAUST this made my day
Sharpe 0
HAHAHA, terrible luck.
Jessica19374698 0
Something similar happened to me. I was at a Mexican restaurant with my friend's family and they said it was my birthday for ***** and giggles, and when they sang "Happy Birthday", they didn't know my name, so they called me 'Ponchita' - Spanish for 'fat girl'. Her entire family speaks Spanish. They don't even know my real name. I am and will always be Ponchita to them. So, I feel your pain.