Today, my friend told the cute waiter it was my birthday. He brought out a dessert with a candle and put a huge sombrero on my head. Everyone at the restaurant started singing me happy birthday. I got embarrassed and put my head down. My sombrero caught on fire. FML
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70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I was sitting next to my friend as he blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Some asshole got the bright idea to shove his face in the cake, but they missed and pushed me in instead. The candles were still lit. My hair caught fire. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML
Today, it's my birthday and I was very happy. When the moment came to blow the candles, all of the decoration on the cake flew off. It had taken an hour to make and set them on the cake. FML
Today, I celebrated my friend's birthday. While everyone was completely wasted, a couple of friends suggested that I throw a pie in the birthday boy's face. Only seconds after doing so did I realize that the centre of the pie had still been burning hot when he screamed in agony. FML
Today, I took my friends out to an expensive restaurant for my birthday treat. They had arranged for a surprise birthday cake for me which I cut, very happily, while they chanted birthday wishes. When the bill came, I discovered I was supposed to pay for my great 'surprise' cake. FML
Today, I celebrated my birthday with a few friends at home. As I bent down over my cake, my friend pushed my face into it. The baker should've told me she put a stick in it to support the cake. FML
Today, my friends got me a cake for my birthday. As I blew out the candles, they shoved my head into it and I was knocked out for 3 minutes before an ambulance took me to the hospital. I got a concussion from a cake. FML
Today, I asked a waiter at a restaurant if I could go in the kitchen to compliment the chef. She turned out to be really pretty, so trying to be cool, I leaned back onto what I thought was a table. It turned out to be a stove, and my shirt caught fire. FML
Today, I was at my favorite Mexican restaurant when I realized my really cute waiter, along with his buddies kept looking at me and smiling. Trying to be cool, I took a bite of my burrito, choked, and spilled ground beef down my new shirt and in my bra. They laughed the whole time. FML
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Top comments
missclash 0
smart.
jennaleigh 0
I look forward to hearing about your Darwin Award.
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Comments (117)
LoveMeTURBO 0
my hair got put on fire on my birthday.....
HeyyyBrahhh 0
Hahahaha!
Thoams_fml 0
that is just funny...not an FML
RavensRule97 0
a fail so epic, its almost a win
NowListenHereHo 0
This is probably the most amazing thing I've heard ever.
ejvlols 0
#19 lol
jdkfgkjdfb 0
I know of this guy whose teenage son got embarrassed by anything the dad did, so whenever they went to restaurants, the dad would tell the waiter that it was the kid's birthday, which would result in complete mortification of the son. I think a sombrero on fire would look awesome, because sombreros are really cool and fire is…firey.
Newtons_Cradle 0
hahahaha nice! and happy birthday! (it's actually my birthday too) they can make us get older, but they can't make us get wiser. obviously.
NorfolkDude 2
How is this a FML? On my b-day, no one said anything much less a party. And you get all these people who sung to you, and all that happened was a minor fire?
icanrelate38 0
this is hilarious omg