Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nakedsquirrel 5
Happy birthday indeed. Never go to bed or send anyone to bed that's been vomiting without a bucket to puke in and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Someone desperately needing to throw up that knows they can't get to a toilet instinctively go to the first container or open space they find.
fantome_fml 0
Well...now you have a new memory to add to the box.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
valuemeal2 1
Damn... 21? A little young, don't you think?
nastynate 0
#79 So true... I even recognize this in myself and my friends. I have friends whose parents were moderate drinkers and let them sip and basically satisfied and curiosities they might have had. My parents were the exact opposite and didn't let me try alcohol or talk to me about it ever. Even after recognizing this, I'm still the type of person who would throw up in a box full of memories. FML.
RespondomaticMan 0
Poor bastard. He's never going to live that one down.
Tsukasa_fml 0
Why was that stuff not in a closet or basement somewhere?
hpnerd 0
Definitely agree with #92.
Endymion_fml 0
Thouroghly deserved if it was the result of excessive alcohol.
theoldGP 0
#81 was right that's ridiculous. and who cares about your old memories? jesus.
DankJemo 0
That sucks, but when someone is that drunk it is a good idea to leave them in the bathroom, with some water and a blanket... they can do much less damage in there.
LifeSux19 0
Aw precious memories.
zoopy_fml 0
This FML is an unwittingly powerful metaphor