Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Nakedsquirrel 5
Happy birthday indeed. Never go to bed or send anyone to bed that's been vomiting without a bucket to puke in and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Someone desperately needing to throw up that knows they can't get to a toilet instinctively go to the first container or open space they find.
fantome_fml 0
Well...now you have a new memory to add to the box.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (164)
jules96_fml 0
omg im so sorry:((((
Jaxro 6
Lay of on the boyfriend, he just turned 21. I assume the OP is from the States and the legal drinking age there is 21. Most normal 21 year old people go out and get wasted on their birthday. I know I did on my 19th (Canada.) But next time he should aim for a garbage can, or bolt to the washroom.
hpnerd 0
21 isn't that young to be engaged. It might also be one of those "lets be engaged until we can afford a good wedding in a few years" sort of things. I have a lot of friends that are like that and have been engaged for three or four years. It's a sign of further commitment than just being "in a relationship". Either way, that really sucks that he threw up on your keepsakes, I would be pretty devastated if that happened to me. Hopefully you can clean most of it up though!
zbots 0
I'm personally looking forward to living before I get married. You have the rest of your life to be tied down, why waste your best years tethered to someone? But also, that sucks. He should do what I do when completely wasted. Sleep in the bathroom.
audiogasmic 0
i'm so sorry about that, i would've cried. it's not really his fault, i mean, if you're throwing up you're going to go the first place you can get to and worry about the consequences later. just clean them off the best you can :/
Blazin247 0
atleast you'r gettin married
kk_fml 0
kinda ridiculous that people are saying stuff like, "wow he sounds like a great catch" or "hes so irresponsible." Come on people, pretty much everyone gets trashed on their 21st birthday. Seriously #43? Getting drunk on your 21st birthday does not mean you are going to be an alcoholic 15 years down the road. I mean it was his birthday and the first time he could legally drink- hes supposed to have fun and go a little crazy. It doesn't mean he's irresponsible or immature (unless he gets that drunk all the time). Also I think its a sign of a strong relationship that she is willing to take care of him after he had a little too much fun. (although i do also think 21 is way too young to be getting married.)
fmlsarah 0
oh my gosh thats horrible im so sorry
cyberhoy 3
haha this is why the states suck people dont drink till the age of 21 and their little virgin livers can't handle the alc. I love alberta drinking age here is 18
fistofflu03 0
O man sounds like my 21st dont you know that when you send the drunk to bed your suppose to keep something by his side to puke in so things like that dont happen?