Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
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Top comments
Nakedsquirrel 5
Happy birthday indeed. Never go to bed or send anyone to bed that's been vomiting without a bucket to puke in and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Someone desperately needing to throw up that knows they can't get to a toilet instinctively go to the first container or open space they find.
fantome_fml 0
Well...now you have a new memory to add to the box.
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Comments (164)
del6 0
ohh that sucks well at least you have one extra memory in there, the puke from his birthday XD
dead14eternity 0
holy shit "might want to rethink your marriage" are you serious you only get to celebrate your 21st one time and it wasn't his fault he threw up in the first container he could find shit you people judge ridiculously
nebula_coloma 0
Okay. I used to party hardy...and I have never witnessed anyone do anything remotely close to caring that they puked in something when they were that drunk, nor have I ever cared when I was in that "blackout" state. Fake.
bitchinstopshere 0
um, #132, the dude in the story is drunk, but the story is posted by the dudes fiancee. ur a dumbass. also, i'm sorry bout that, that sucks. i hope that it wasn't all ruined. I know that stuff has happened to my important memories, and i was able to clean them and they turned out fin.
yesbutnotyou 0
I'm so, so, sorry. is he still your fiance?
Superhero_Girl 0
That's dumb. Why do people think it's fun to puke on their birthday? People amaze me...
youliftmeup 0
That is awful.
aego56 0
110 : I still don't see any reason - and no I haven't only tried real stiff drinks. Although I have tried beer, whiskey, vodka and stuff I've also had my friends offer me other stuff - Girly drinks or drinks mixed with coke. Whatever - it all tastes like complete ass.
Althalus_fml 0
Remember People, When someone is so drunk they are puking, get two benches (or two things of similar width and height) and lay them face down, on the benches and arrange them so the first one is supporting the waist/crouch area and the second one supporting the top of the chest. for girls just move it down below their breasts. then put a trashcan right under their face. one about the size of the grey metal trashcans at most high schools should work.
0keLLy0 0
think about it positively. now you have a new memory that you will hopefully laugh about in the future, right? im sure some of the things in that box will be okay when you wipe them up anyway.