Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
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Top comments
Nakedsquirrel 5
Happy birthday indeed. Never go to bed or send anyone to bed that's been vomiting without a bucket to puke in and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Someone desperately needing to throw up that knows they can't get to a toilet instinctively go to the first container or open space they find.
fantome_fml 0
Well...now you have a new memory to add to the box.
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Comments (164)
Hullaballoo 0
You're too young to get married
takran 0
#102: Alcohol dehydrates the body. So your good is not really good. "- Every alcoholic drink I've ever tried tastes like absolute shit." You must not have had the right ones o_O Don't drink beer, or stuff like straight whiskey, it's gross. The more "manly" someone claims a drink is, the worse it will taste. Evidently being a man means having horrible taste. "- You get sick." Only if you're an idiot. "- You do dumb stuff." Define dumb stuff. Only idiots drink and drive. Most stuff is harmless. "- You lose control." This is a very generic term (straight from the health class textbook), I'm not really sure how to respond to it. "- You wake up feeling like shit." You have to be really, really stupid to go to sleep drunk. "- It costs an ass-ton." You have a point there. Moderation is key in all things... OP: Fail. Never put a sick person to bed without a bucket or something to throw up in.
life_is_a_hooker 0
Someone would NOT be my fiancee after that stunt.
dumbkid 0
I don't know what the big deal is about them being engaged at 21. Maybe it's going to be a long engagement, maybe they've been together for years - you don't know the story. 50+ years ago it was normal to be engaged or married this young. And as far as the fiance being that drunk and "unable to handle his alcohol"... it was his 21st birthday. Cut the kid some slack.
Fatdude 0
How much tequila did he drink? Think about it and you'll realize it's not his fault.
mavrick1915 0
maybe you should find a fiance that can hold his booze
nuga 0
Oh no, that's awful!! To those of you saying it's her fault for not putting a bucket out, she may have and he just didn't notice it since he was so drunk. I took care of a friend one time who was drunk and throwing up in the sink; I tried to convince her to move over to the toilet so she wouldn't clog the sink but she kept insisting she was at the toilet...
Truce25 0
LMFAO
stridercab 12
well that's what you get for having a fiance' who's BARELY 21! What the HELL are you thinking being engaged so young...are you even outta ****** college yet?!?! E-P-I-C F-A-I-L, Dumbass.
Easy_Target 0
[Cue cancellation of wedding followed by violent assault]