Today, my fiancé turned 21. I stayed up and took care of him for 3 hours while he puked his guts out. When I FINALLY get him to bed, he jumps up and rips the lid off a plastic container on the floor and pukes in it. It was full of all my yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend turned 21 and got drunk at a bar. Being sober, I went through the whole ordeal: calling a cab, carrying him up three flights of stairs, helping him by the toilet, and taking him to bed. Just when I'm about to sleep, he gets up, pushes his shorts down, and pees on me. Twice. FML
Today, It was my fiancé's 21st birthday party. It ended with him too drunk to walk and wailing about how much he misses an ex girlfriend of his that he dumped 4 years ago. FML
Today, I had to clean my boyfriend's puke off of our bed. Last night he ditched me to go out partying, came home, threw up, and passed out. He thinks it's only fair I clean up today because he's "not feeling well". FML
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, I was so sick that I was puking and had the runs. While on the toilet, I yelled for my boyfriend to get me a bowl to puke in. As I did so, I saw that a ton of it was forming on the floor in dots. My boyfriend had given me a spaghetti strainer. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML
Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML
Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML
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Top comments
Nakedsquirrel 5
Happy birthday indeed. Never go to bed or send anyone to bed that's been vomiting without a bucket to puke in and a washcloth to wipe the mouth after an episode. Someone desperately needing to throw up that knows they can't get to a toilet instinctively go to the first container or open space they find.
fantome_fml 0
Well...now you have a new memory to add to the box.
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Comments (164)
alex_vik 1
Sounds like he can't hold his liquor. And #1, OP isn't married...
Amkii 0
That's what you get for being engaged before you're legally allowed to drink. Clearly, he's still too young for both, mentally. Sorry about your photos and memorabilia.
chelseybuns 0
Wow. That's gross. It's also very funny. (not the baby picutres and stuff part, sorry)
kirches 0
How do any of you know that the OP didn't have something for him to vomit in? It's been my experience that, even when you have something for them to puke in, drunk people will often puke elsewhere, anyway. You are all assuming.
EFFyourlifecait 0
well, i hope you really love him.
Ibeapirate 0
Too young to get married. Apparently he's not even responsible enough to handle alcohol. Good luck with this one.
Zerenade 0
"Today, I turned 21 and got REALLY drunk. I don't remember much of what happened, but when I woke up, I found out that I puked my guts out for several hours while my fiance took care of me. Apparently, I ended up puking all over her yearbooks, baby pictures, and childhood memories. FML" I would feel like shit if I did that to someone...
astan92 1
Well you can now think about you new life and forget your old one!
wut_fml 0
Christ, I would rather die than be engaged at age 21.
planetearth 0
Shouldn't put all of your eggs in one basket, eh?