Today, my father used my birth certificate as a beer coaster. Accident or not, it pretty much perfectly sums up our relationship. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I had to get out my birth certificate to prove to my dad that today is my birthday. This has happened before. FML
Today, I found out that I'm named after my dad's favourite drink. FML
Today, I used my AA handbook as a beer coaster. FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML
Today, I am completely mortified. At my father-in-law's funeral, my husband put a bottle of beer on the coffin and announced to the room his dad was such a tight-fisted sod, it was the first drink he’d ever had on him. FML
Today, my dad took me to a bar for my first legal drink. He quickly got "drunk" and started slurring that I was an accident, saying the only reason I'm alive is because he'd been too poor to pay for an abortion. As I started crying, he burst out laughing and said soberly, "Just kidding, son." FML
Today, my dad decided that my diploma makes a good pen-tester. FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML
Today, my dad came to my graduate art show wearing a t-shirt saying "My other daughter is a science major". He'd had it specially made. FML
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Top comments
nzhx 23
I'm sorry, OP. I know not having a good relationship with your father is both difficult and frustrating. However, considering your birth certificate is a necessary and important document, I'd hide it from him yourself the first chance you get. You'll need it in the future, and you're ****** if he ruins it
Tamandua 19
My dad would just say something along the lines of, "Your birth is the reason I drink anyway" to justify it.
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Comments (51)
hbs11476 9
Put it somewhere safe so this stuff can't happen.
SweetestHeart93 18
i understand where your coming from except in my case it wasnt my dad and it wasnt my birth certificate. in my case it was my baby brother and my social security card. like he drew all over mine and our mom's but left his completely alone. i do hope not alot of damage happened to your birth certificate.
EnJey0 19
Maybe he was drunk and didn't realize it? In any case talk to your mom about it. I'm sure she'll bitch slap him for you.
siyca 13
Next time, take an important document of his and nonchalantly place your beverage on top of it when he's looking. Two can play at that game.
Geckosrock99 33
Two wrongs don't make a right. OP should take the mature route and take his birth certificate, replace it with an actual coaster, and put it where no more damage can be done to it. If it's too far gone, he should replace it and keep it from his dad in case it happens again.
JKPwnage 27
Take your birth certificate (and SSN and any other important documents), try to get a job, and leave once you're financially stable.
HerrPoopyPants 16
that's really sad.
JudgeComrade 17
This kind of posts is why we need an "Okay... so what?" button.
yellowzinnias 20
My biological father did the same with mine in 1986, but for his coffee. Even though we didn't have a great relationship, now that he's gone, that coffee ring stain is bitter-sweet (haha).
wow2mylife 25
why was it out
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Why was your birth certificate just sitting there on a random surface, anyway? O.o