Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Groceries Theft Auto.
rahulcool7 14
He seems like he is a very trusting guy
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
DocBastard 40
Maybe you shouldn't have yelled "HAHA FREEDOM! SO LONG, BITCHES!!" as you peeled out of the driveway.
BlowinChronic 18
Oh... That isn't normal behavior?
Calingaladha 21
Oh, I thought OP had yelled: "YOU MAY ALL GO TO HELL, AND I WILL GO TO PUBLIX!"
jem970 19
I do that all the time when I leave though Doc. Obviously the dad is jumping to conclusions :) lol jk. Great post on your blog BTW.
jem970 19
Hahahahahahahahahahaha that just made my morning. Bravo sir :)
kakarot2 11
82, you have a little shit on your tooth. Don't forget to brush your teeth after kissing ass.
Enslaved 38
Hope Krispy Kreme doughnuts were on your shopping list!
martin_martian7 11
Grocery shopping takes a lot of time you know!
stormchaser24 24
Why would that many cops show up? My brother did the same thing and we had only one show up.
RealZA_fml 20
Sounds like he sent you out so he could get high, and was tripping so hard he forgot he sent you in the first place.
sweetmama88 6
You probably took to long at the food store, and he just freaked out.
safaeita 32
Seriously? Your father must be really paranoid, or maybe he had reason to believe so, op have you been recently acting suspiciously and talking about plans in some other state?
doglover100 29
Did he forget he asked you?
cheshireau 26
Does he have dementia? Or you could of said by before leaving confirming to him that's where you were headed.
ByronJess 17
Well, if OP hasn't gone to Wal*Mart he would have been home after just half an hut and his dad never would have had to worry. But since the FML says he was gone an hour and a half, the only logical explanation is that he was waiting in line at Walmart.