Today, my father told me to take the car and get some groceries. An hour and a half later, coming home with the groceries, I see the cops all around my house because my dad had called them, thinking that I had run away and stolen the car. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my father called the cops saying I stole his car. It's my car, but his name is on the title. Why did he report it stolen? Because rather than taking him to a bar and being his designated driver, I went to a job interview. FML
Today, I saw my dad for the first time in ten years. He was stealing my car. FML
Today, I borrowed a roommate's car to get groceries. I came out to find the car stolen. I called the cops, and the responding officer took the info and drove me home to give the roomie the bad news in person. 15 minutes later, they found the car. I'd parked it on the opposite side of the lot. FML
Today, due to bad weather, my dad let me take his car to drive to my apartment 3 hours away. I only realized when I got there that my keys were still sitting on my parents' kitchen counter. FML
Today, I was approached by a policeman who asked me if I was the owner of the green Camry. Turns out my parents decided to teach me a lesson for lying where I had been by reporting the car stolen. They also wouldn't answer my one phone call. FML
Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML
Today, my dad got extremely drunk, so I took away his car keys and left on foot. When I came back, I saw that he had broken down my door. Now my dad is mad at me for not giving him the keys when he was drunk, and I'm door-less. FML
Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML
Today, my boss reported to the police that a suspicious car has been parked outside the store late at night. I walked outside and my car was gone. He had my car towed. FML
Today, I noticed a car following me all the way to my house. It was dark so I got really nervous and called the police. The person got out of the car. It was my mom. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SkoomaKi 28
Groceries Theft Auto.
rahulcool7 14
He seems like he is a very trusting guy
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (117)
Chrispayne 4
Sadly a lot of those that claim to be homeless are not.
SoultheWolf 19
FYL for having a moronic father. But does it really take an hour and a half to get "some groceries"? Unless, you live a very long way to town like me. It takes me about 50 minutes just to get into town... But, then again, I only go into town if it's desperate, not if I need a few items.
rahulcool7 14
63-applause
gregkingsley 4
Don't take so damm long next time.
SpearD 4
Did it really take that long to get groceries?
LexieWins 0
He just missed his car. That's all.
jazalea8 16
It can really take an hour and a half to buy groceries. As a woman, living on her own, I can take about an hour and a half to grocery shop for the month. The OP had to do it for more people. You compare prices, find what you want, and if someone is allergic to something, you check groceries. Even if you are quickly shopping, you get what is needed. A drive in itself can be half an hour or longer most places.
MDTeddy 13
What is with all the negative comments? A lot of people take that long to shop for groceries. It is very normal. Someone's dad doesn't shop very often then or not at all for food.
EsOSiQueEs 14
Lol, OP I totally understand why you took so long to get groceries. OP is in Indiana, so there's a pretty good chance the nearest grocery store is 20 mins away. If so, I feel your pain, mine is 23 minutes away with no traffic.
TcheQ 12
Whaaaaaaa Is indiana like, some rural community? Then I could understand. No corner store, really? Also, wtf??? Why did OP's dad not call his mobile .... -.- ....Amish, horse 'n cart...I see where this is headed
sknabc123 8
It seriously takes you an hour and a half to get groceries? I'd be worried too.
hatingyourlife 1
Not everyone makes a beeline to the snack aisle to fill their cart and check out immediately.