Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues."... - FML

By vansboy - 15/11/2010 04:26

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

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Alexa, play "Hey! Student" by The Fall

Yappy neighborhood

Business savvy

By tacoboy27 - 21/12/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I found out that my father has taken my copy of Modern Warfare 3, and re-wrapped it as a Christmas present. FML

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By paid to scoop ice cream not nana-sit - 17/6/2016 03:13 - United States - Fall River

Today, I was working when my boss left briefly, leaving me with her elderly, senile mother. Not only did I have to chase her when she ran after a stranger on the road, I turned my back for 5 seconds to do my actual job and she walked off. When my boss returned, I had to tell her I lost her mother. FML

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By JesusLaidAnEgg - 10/9/2019 14:02

Alexa, play "A Forest" by The Cure

Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML

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By boopingsnoot - 26/8/2017 18:30 - United States - Nashville

Today, at the dentist, I was just supposed to get three small cavities filled. I walked out with a referral slip for the endodontist. Hello, root canal. Fuck you, genetics. FML

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By Noname - 16/3/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, I was out on a date with a guy. His hot co-worker came to have a beer with us, and I knew my best friend would think he was gorgeous. I wanted to take a picture of him without knowing, so i tried to hold up my phone and pretend to be texting. The flash went off. FML

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By Gemma - 3/11/2010 11:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a portable speed camera on the highway and braked hard. I caused a 4 car pile-up and my car is totaled. It wasn't a speed camera. FML

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By anonymous - 13/9/2015 15:34 - Luxembourg

Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML

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By Oh_baby - 10/6/2009 17:35 - United States

Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML

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By Anonymous - 14/4/2011 17:35 - United States

Today, I made my young niece lunch. After she claimed to have eaten it all, she wanted to go out and play. I was putting my shoes on when I found part of the sandwich I made her stuffed in my shoe. FML

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By Anonymous - 8/2/2017 19:00 - Ireland - Navan

Today, at work, I bumped into what looked like a small child and said, "sorry, little man". Turns out he actually was a "little person". FML

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By ew - 27/10/2010 05:24 - United States

Today, I realized that my dandruff issue was so horrible, that even my eyebrows have dandruff. FML

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By yawho - 25/2/2009 07:25 - Japan

Today, a customer that I've been waiting on for years came into the restaurant after a long absence. I said to him, "Hey man, it looks like you lost a lot of weight! How'd you do it?" He replied, "I got cancer." FML

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By cantunhear - 20/12/2014 03:16 - United States - Fishkill

Today, my parents had a loud argument over who is worse in bed. FML

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By Amelia - 23/6/2019 00:16

Today, I’ve discovered that even if he brushes his teeth for 10 minutes straight, flosses, and rinses with mouthwash, my boyfriend’s breath still smells like a cross between sewage and rotting fish. I’m running out of excuses for not kissing him. FML

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By GM38 - 23/6/2012 02:57 - United States - Melbourne

Today, I divorced my husband of 20 years. The only positive thing about my day was my pregnancy test. Yes, it was his. FML

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By nattnatt73 - 10/9/2016 07:07 - United States - Marion

Today, my dog brought me his squeaky toy to throw for him. I went to throw it down the hallway but it hit the door and bounced about a foot in front of him. He just stared at me for a minute like I was dumb, then took it to my boyfriend to throw. I disappoint even my dog. FML

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By LostSoul - 21/7/2019 12:10

Today, I arrived at the doctor's to schedule surgery to find out my insurance got canceled again. I only just got it reinstated after the last time they screwed up and canceled it. It took me 6 months to get it fixed. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/4/2014 05:57 - Canada

Today, I bought my niece a plush My Little Pony figure for her birthday. Only after she unwrapped it did I realize that it was meant to be a sex toy for grown men. FML

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By _RobotInDisguise - 9/12/2009 23:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML

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By Anonymous - 12/3/2010 21:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

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By "wolfssb135" - 23/10/2017 22:00

Today, I deeply underestimated my baby nephew's climbing skills. I returned from the bathroom to find a broken vase, spilled powder formula, and my phone wiped clean from too many incorrect password attempts. FML

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By Extended_desktop - 11/9/2011 17:53 - Poland

Today, I got bored and decided to visit a porn site. I typed in the address and hit enter. A split second later, I realized I wasn't typing into the browser address bar, but in a chat window on my other screen. I'd been chatting with a girl I wanted to get with at the time. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/7/2012 20:45 - United States - Clay City

Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML

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By whoanoa - 10/3/2010 03:12 - United States

Today, I discovered that my mother uses my eyebrow tweezers to pull ticks off the dog. She also hasn't figured out that just dipping the tweezers in alcohol doesn't automatically sterilize them. Especially if there is icky dog hair still stuck on. FML

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By MyPrecious... - 11/3/2015 00:33 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

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By TimeForACareerChange - 18/7/2012 00:54 - United States

Today, I told a patient that we needed to collect a stool sample. I left the room momentarily to retrieve what the patient would need. He apparently didn't need anything besides the counter in the exam room. FML

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By Kirby - 7/11/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot." Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

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By Baby Face - 16/1/2017 15:03

Today, I was at work refreshing the shelves when a man turned the corner and said, very surprised, "You look 12!" A few weeks back, two people did the same thing, only they said I looked 9. I'm almost 21 years old, and just very short. Starting to get just a little self conscious here. FML

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By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 04:12 - Australia

Today, I started a new job. The supervisor handed me a badge with the name 'Rachel' on it, which is not my name. When I told her this, she responded with, "I know, but it will be easier for the customers to pronounce than your actual name." FML

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By jess - 8/4/2012 14:30 - United States - Mount Vernon

Today, I woke up and decided to make my mom a special Easter breakfast in bed. I pre-heated the oven to bake the sausage just the way she likes. Guess where my easter basket was. FML

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By RedHotRoses - 20/12/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into my office and found my ex-roommate going through my desk. Apparently, despite not wanting to be friends or even speak anymore, he has no qualms about "borrowing" my Master's thesis so he can compare and write his. FML

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By nature - 25/9/2017 23:15

Today, I had to explain to my 7-year-old son that it's not okay to smell others' "wieners". FML

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By Hreyes - 15/9/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I overheard my boss stressing out over finding a replacement for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

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By veiny - 21/4/2015 13:48 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

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By WOWreally - 25/9/2009 06:24 - United States

Today, I decided to surprise my husband in the shower. I got in and we were talking and goofing around and I stuck out my chest and sucked in my stomach being stupid and my husband says "Wait! Do it again! That's how you looked when I first met you." FML

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By Anonymous - 26/7/2018 01:30

Today, while bringing my baby an early-morning bottle, I tripped over a ball and fell into the glass coffee table, smashing it and cutting myself pretty badly. My husband slept through the whole thing, but the neighbors came by to tell me to keep it down. FML

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By Nyxilia - 7/12/2019 17:00 - United Kingdom - Edgware

The best cat

Today, I was woken up by my cat. Did he bite me? Meow to get fed? No, those are too common. He scratched my hole, and it was very exciting. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/7/2016 13:45 - Maldives

Today, while using the bathroom I gave the toilet a courtesy flush, only for it to overflow and soak my pants. That would've been bad enough even if I hadn't been at work, with five hours left on my shift and no change of clothes. FML

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By *SuperCringe* - 28/9/2017 16:00

Today, I was matched with my boss on Tinder. FML

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By lrgenesis - 4/2/2012 08:13 - United States

Today, my mom friended all my friends on Facebook then thought it'd be a good idea to try and act like a teen so she'd be considered 'cool'. FML

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Top comments

By 12596 | 0

#1704115 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:24

this looks like Justin biebers future FML

By stealthkitten | 3

#1704094 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

haha family fail

Comments

By ekdfml | 20

#1704092 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

haha that sucks! 1st

By stealthkitten | 3

#1704094 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

haha family fail

Reply

TexanDanny | 2

#1704236 - Monday 15 November 2010 10:24

LOL

Reply

novair | 5

#1704902 - Monday 15 November 2010 14:26

well when you jerk it in the family room it does become an issue. trust me I know. oh wait......

Reply

belouie | 2

#1705522 - Monday 15 November 2010 16:34

must have been pretty secret then haha

By EvilDoll | 7

#1704095 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

good to see you're becoming a woman!

Reply

thesunsetglow_fml | 8

#1704134 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:30

Or man, I suppose?
I know a guy who I can picture this happening to... he's my age, 17 yet he's the same size and build as my 8 year old brother... and his voice is about the same too.

So to the OP I say... TAKE SOME GODDAMN TESTOSTERONE (sp?) PILLS YA BITCH! Just kidding. But really.

Reply

Ryanfmlfiend | 0

#1704279 - Monday 15 November 2010 11:07

hahaha lack of puberty issues

Reply

hahaalolz | 0

#1704766 - Monday 15 November 2010 13:39

9 Ur related to Justin bieber?

Reply

thesunsetglow_fml | 8

#1705157 - Monday 15 November 2010 15:45

52 - Aiish I said my brother was 8 -__- But I KNOW a guy as I described. Reading won't kill ya you know.

By 12596 | 0

#1704115 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:24

this looks like Justin biebers future FML

Reply

knoll4007 | 3

#1704472 - Monday 15 November 2010 12:14

hahaha total win^^

Reply

zombieglamour_fml | 0

#1706033 - Monday 15 November 2010 19:42

agreed. god I hate Justin beiber lol

Reply

crazykid300 | 6

#4479294 - Friday 25 May 2012 6:32

No justin biebers will b wen he 30

By meganannee | 0

#1704119 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:25

haha that sucks for you! Move out!

By Rhianikki | 0

#1704124 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:27

Your family needs a hobby...

By HSOMGF | 5

#1704130 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:29

You need a new family.

By FYLDeep | 25

#1704137 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:31

Yeah, you're 21. Don't ya think it's time to start wearing deodorant?

Reply

77taylah33 | 0

#1704211 - Monday 15 November 2010 10:06

It couldn't just be smell it could be being bitchy anything

By KiaMaster | 0

#1704145 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:34

are u not a woman yet?

By smokeymcpottt | 3

#1704149 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:36

You must be Asian.

Reply

Chinnithy | 0

#1704180 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:50

I'm 31.

Reply

sonusingh | 0

#1704346 - Monday 15 November 2010 11:32

lol

Reply

RedPillSucks | 31

#1706025 - Monday 15 November 2010 19:37

I reached for it, but her parents kicked my ass.