Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues."... - FML

By vansboy - 15/11/2010 04:26

Today, my family had a secret meeting on my "puberty issues." I'm 21. FML

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Rock, hard place

Deep-seated resentment

Breaking Badly

By dudster25 - 10/4/2016 04:20 - United States - Hanford

Today, I was both sexting with my girlfriend and texting my professor about an upcoming essay. I accidentally sent a dickpic to my professor. FML

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By skrumpp - 20/3/2014 16:15

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

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By shutup shutup shutup don't wanna hear it - 8/11/2016 00:43 - United States - Charlottesville

Today, my roommate told me that she was studying in the library. Turns out, she didn't feel like going to the library and just spent all afternoon studying in a friend's room because she didn't think I was capable of shutting up for long enough to get any work done. Our other friends agreed. FML

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By wat - 20/9/2013 05:52 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I went to visit my overly-posh mother for the first time in many years. Upon arrival, she kicked me out because my outfit did not follow the same color-scheme as her decor. FML

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By Anonymous - 31/1/2017 16:41 - Netherlands - Veldhoven

Right in the miniature tree

Today, my parents got mad at me because I laughed when they called the bullseye "bonsai" while watching darts. They've always thought it was bonsai. FML

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By Anonymous - 25/7/2019 12:00

Fetish

Today, my boyfriend and I finally had sex. The entire time he kept begging me to fart, especially on him. FML

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By NotTheMomma - 22/7/2016 14:06

Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation daily in an effort to get pregnant. My husband has only had one task during the entire process, and after hours of gaming, he says he's just too tired to have sex. FML

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By Anonymous - 7/9/2011 23:02 - Canada

Today, my fiancé played Rockband drums from the bathroom while taking a crap. He actually managed to properly hit notes. FML

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By retailshell - 28/1/2015 15:01 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

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By bosssssssss765432 - 16/5/2009 15:20 - United States

Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/10/2014 18:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to a first aid training course. I had to lie on the floor and pretend I was unconscious. We were supposed to be doing the recovery position, but the guy I was working with decided to perform CPR instead and grope my boobs in the process. FML

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By analgirl - 9/11/2014 13:31 - France - Paris

Today, I found out the only reason my boyfriend asked me out is because he thought I "looked like a girl who'd be into anal". FML

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By - 28/1/2020 18:00

So romantic!

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend on my boat at the lake. As we were looking at the mountains all around us, she playfully pushed me off the side into the water. As I got back on the boat, I realized that not only was my cellphone dead, but the ring had fallen into the deep water. FML

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By onlyolivia - 11/2/2016 19:55 - United States - Laurel

Today, we had some workers come to paint my office building. As a receptionist, it's my job to stock the fridge with soda. I walked into the supply closet just in time to find a worker peeing in a bucket. I stood there for about 10 seconds before I understood what was happening and ran out. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/8/2019 22:00

Today, I found my boyfriend browsing tablet PCs on the internet. He actually had a tablet until a while ago, but he hardly ever used it. He still has two smartphones, a desktop PC and a laptop he never uses. But yeah, sure, he needs a tablet. Because, "they're cheap." FML

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By mareda - 1/2/2012 19:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I flew to England to visit my boyfriend, who has been working there for the past three months. I went to his hotel and waited for him; he never showed up. I called one of his colleagues to ask him what was going on. He had no idea what I was talking about. FML

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By anonymus - 27/5/2012 01:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my grandmother was driving me to the mall. Suddenly, she stopped in the middle of the road. When I asked her what exactly she was doing, she said, "Oh, am I driving?" FML

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By Sarah - 12/6/2011 00:54 - United States

Today, I saw my brother on TV after 3 years of no contact. He was being arrested on Cops. FML

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By buddy - 26/1/2009 14:58 - United States

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

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By digressions - 29/12/2011 19:01 - Canada

Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML

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By My Daughter Fails at Life - 26/9/2015 01:17 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I asked my shut in of a daughter why she was sniffing black pepper. She said she was practicing to make her sneezes sound like coughs, thereby decreasing the likelihood of someone talking to her. FML

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By idiots - 29/11/2014 03:36 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, I had to explain to a customer that 50% off a $50 item did not make the item free. FML

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By kblevss - 5/1/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

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By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 00:00 - New Zealand

Alexa, play "Boredom" by Buzzcocks

Today, I'm ignored and bored so much at my dream job that I've started bringing in my fanfiction to write when no one is around. Which is 80% of the day. I'm training to be a civil engineer. My experience writing fanfiction should take me really far in my chosen career. FML

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By InDeepBlue - 10/9/2019 06:00

Today, I took the bus home from work for the first time in my life. It was pretty crowded, so I immediately sat in an empty seat. Then, I felt something wet. It was puke. A lot of it, in fact. FML

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By Random Person - 21/11/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

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By Yoda - 8/7/2011 05:23 - United States

Today, my drunk father chased me down the street with my little brother's light saber screaming, "Come back Yoda! Teach me how to use the force!" FML

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By skinsfan7592 - 8/2/2010 15:19 - United States

Today, my dad and I had an argument. Then we went outside to shovel the snow out of the driveway. I heard him yelling and figured he was just yelling at me some more, so I turned my iPod up so I couldn't hear him anymore. Turns out he had fallen, cracked a rib, and needed help up. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 20:50 - United States - Winsted

Today, after locking my keys in the car and waiting 3 hours for my mom to bring me my spare, I reached into my bag only to find my keys. FML

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By scoobses - 2/10/2015 00:45 - United States

Today, my pain-in-the-ass co-worker is finally leaving. Unfortunately, I was chosen to do the bulk of her job. She has given me no training and on her last day, just smirked at me on her way out and say, "Enjoy doing my job too, fucker". I don't get paid enough for this. FML

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By demotivator - 2/11/2014 21:38 - Romania - Timisoara

Today, I finally got off my lazy ass and start studying for my upcoming exam. It was going pretty well, until my classmate called and after I proudly told him about my sudden motivation, the only thing he had to say was, "You got the date wrong, the exam was on thursday." FML

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By grossuncle - 25/2/2010 17:44 - United States

Today, I was bored at work looking at a sex offender list of my area. After a couple pages, I saw my uncle. FML

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By Thithien1 - 1/4/2009 06:07 - Korea Republic of

Today, I was on a crowded subway going home. My trousers were a bit dusty so I tried to dust myself off. As I was slapping the side of my leg I missed and hit a woman behind me in the ass. She called me a pervert and walked off. Everyone stared at me. It takes 40 minutes to get home. FML

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By Anonymous - 17/9/2011 08:17 - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend gave me a speech on me "not being manly enough". I started crying. FML

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By bit - 30/7/2009 10:01 - United States

Today, me and my girls went to get revenge on a girl who slept with my boyfriend by egging her house. Her house was too far away so we decided to get her truck. We wasted a carton of eggs on her driveway because we all have terrible aim and look incredibly stupid for missing so bad. FML

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By Anonymous - 27/6/2014 10:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

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By jacky tu - 16/10/2010 03:06 - United States

Today, I got grounded because I didn't go to my dog's birthday party. FML

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By cowgurl91 - 13/1/2010 21:40 - France

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was going to propose to me about three months ago. I was completely surprised and asked why he didn't. At that time, I had told him to stop looking at me like that and go buy me some damn tacos. I was 2 months pregnant then. Now he wants to wait a couple of years. FML

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By Madzison - 6/2/2012 10:08 - Australia

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my boyfriend about his Miley Cyrus obsession. FML

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By Gurl - 7/9/2012 22:32 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

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Top comments

By 12596 | 0

#1704115 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:24

this looks like Justin biebers future FML

By stealthkitten | 3

#1704094 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

haha family fail

COMMENTS

By ekdfml | 20

#1704092 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

haha that sucks! 1st

By stealthkitten | 3

#1704094 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

haha family fail

Reply

TexanDanny | 2

#1704236 - Monday 15 November 2010 10:24

LOL

Reply

novair | 5

#1704902 - Monday 15 November 2010 14:26

well when you jerk it in the family room it does become an issue. trust me I know. oh wait......

Reply

belouie | 2

#1705522 - Monday 15 November 2010 16:34

must have been pretty secret then haha

By EvilDoll | 7

#1704095 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:20

good to see you're becoming a woman!

Reply

thesunsetglow_fml | 8

#1704134 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:30

Or man, I suppose?
I know a guy who I can picture this happening to... he's my age, 17 yet he's the same size and build as my 8 year old brother... and his voice is about the same too.

So to the OP I say... TAKE SOME GODDAMN TESTOSTERONE (sp?) PILLS YA BITCH! Just kidding. But really.

Reply

Ryanfmlfiend | 0

#1704279 - Monday 15 November 2010 11:07

hahaha lack of puberty issues

Reply

hahaalolz | 0

#1704766 - Monday 15 November 2010 13:39

9 Ur related to Justin bieber?

Reply

thesunsetglow_fml | 8

#1705157 - Monday 15 November 2010 15:45

52 - Aiish I said my brother was 8 -__- But I KNOW a guy as I described. Reading won't kill ya you know.

By 12596 | 0

#1704115 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:24

this looks like Justin biebers future FML

Reply

knoll4007 | 3

#1704472 - Monday 15 November 2010 12:14

hahaha total win^^

Reply

zombieglamour_fml | 0

#1706033 - Monday 15 November 2010 19:42

agreed. god I hate Justin beiber lol

Reply

crazykid300 | 6

#4479294 - Friday 25 May 2012 6:32

No justin biebers will b wen he 30

By meganannee | 0

#1704119 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:25

haha that sucks for you! Move out!

By Rhianikki | 0

#1704124 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:27

Your family needs a hobby...

By HSOMGF | 5

#1704130 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:29

You need a new family.

By FYLDeep | 25

#1704137 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:31

Yeah, you're 21. Don't ya think it's time to start wearing deodorant?

Reply

77taylah33 | 0

#1704211 - Monday 15 November 2010 10:06

It couldn't just be smell it could be being bitchy anything

By KiaMaster | 0

#1704145 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:34

are u not a woman yet?

By smokeymcpottt | 3

#1704149 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:36

You must be Asian.

Reply

Chinnithy | 0

#1704180 - Monday 15 November 2010 9:50

I'm 31.

Reply

sonusingh | 0

#1704346 - Monday 15 November 2010 11:32

lol

Reply

RedPillSucks | 31

#1706025 - Monday 15 November 2010 19:37

I reached for it, but her parents kicked my ass.