Health: Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose...

By scorned ex - 17/10/2015 03:29

Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 423

You deserved it 7 807

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Same thing different taste

Harsh

By anonymous - 14/12/2011 05:42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 483

You deserved it 12 226

By Fattymuch - 14/09/2011 14:27 - India

Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 51 974

By WeightAMinute - 09/07/2009 01:28 - United States

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he see's me I'm alone, pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 759

You deserved it 6 313

Enjoy!

By sad and hungry - 06/06/2015 14:37 - United States - Hackensack

Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 554

You deserved it 6 571

By abbacjt - 16/01/2009 17:51 - United States

Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex-husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex-father in law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 772

You deserved it 26 712

By chunkymonkey - 23/11/2011 23:54

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 807

You deserved it 6 272

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 258

You deserved it 49 592

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 15:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 437

You deserved it 1 643

Feeders

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 23:01

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 958

Overkill or fair?

By Pineapple does go on pizza - 24/08/2018 01:30

Today, I thought my boyfriend was kidding when he said he'd dump me if I actually ate pineapple on pizza. I ordered it. I ate it. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 199

You deserved it 1 183

spursunited 19

Saturday 17 October 2015 15:21

I guess we know why he's an ex

megs925 16

Saturday 17 October 2015 15:22

You should send him one back reading "how to **** off"

Comments

nyahz1 7

Saturday 17 October 2015 21:55

send him an email on how to increase stamina and girth

joshi42 16

Saturday 17 October 2015 22:24

Come on, that pie would be 2 or 3 pounds max. Unless you are living on the top of a beanstalk, of course.

GeorgiaBea 28

Saturday 17 October 2015 22:42

There is a reason he's your ex. I wouldn't even open the email.

djTrikhster 4

Saturday 17 October 2015 22:44

I hope you finished the pie.

justsayingbeach 15

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:21

That explains the email then to be fair

BaDumTsss_fml 23

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:22

I guess it's good thing you dropped 200lb by dumping his ass!

geminijojo 10

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:37

Send him an email.. "How to Make a Girl Cum Even With a Micro-Dick"

NeatNit 32

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:40

Step 1: drop that pie.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 18 October 2015 7:14

But not while driving...

geminijojo 10

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:45

Divinty 2

Saturday 17 October 2015 23:57

Send him a polite reply like lol just so you know last week was the first time I had a real orgasms since before we were together.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went with my boyfriend to the OC Fair. He was taking a picture of me in front of a giant mechanical butterfly at the insect exhibit. Playfully, he told me to pretend to be a butterfly, so I quickly lifted my arms, just in time to slap a 7 year-old girl in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 751

You deserved it 6 016

Today, I discovered my 3-year-old daughter's artistic skills. She managed to draw an elaborate mural on our living room wall. The masterpiece? A stick figure family, including our dog, but instead of a tail, he has a second head. She of course used permanent markers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 153

The Top

Today, I tried to hold my new boyfriend's hand while on a date. He let go quickly though, letting me know that we aren't at "that stage" of the relationship yet. We've been having sex for two weeks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 096

You deserved it 5 852

Today, I realised my bestie ditched me for her best friend, which was fine because it's her first. But then I found out she's been hanging out with other new friends and never once thought to hit me up, until I messaged her about feeling sad we hadn't hung out in a while because of the pandemic. Guess it wasn't just the pandemic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 145

Today, I was sent to the hospital after being hit by a car while on my bicycle. The police officer said it was my fault for not looking, even though the car pulled up without looking. I now have a small herniated disc in my neck and abrasions on my thigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 217

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 277

You deserved it 1 029

Today, my grandma gave me the 'abstinence' speech. I had thought she already left to go back to FL but then came into my room to tell me how proud she was of me to keep my virginity. I was doing it doggie-style with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 239

You deserved it 90 463

Today, I was teaching a new student their first ever piano lesson, hoping that they would sign up for more lessons. Thirty minutes had gone by and after the 5th time of me saying what a talented, sweet little girl she was, the mother told me it was in fact a boy. They didn't sign up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 887

You deserved it 3 080