Today, my ex-boyfriend sent me an email that read, "How to lose 25lbs". I was eating a large slice of pie when I opened the email. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text that said, "I can't be seen with you anymore. You're too fat." FML
Today, I was online looking up ways to lose weight, get thinner and be healthier, all the while eating a slab of brownie that was half the size of my head. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend who dumped me after 2 1/2 years because I got fat. The last two years I've lost 68 lbs, am happier and couldn't wait to shove that in his face. So, of course the first time he sees me I'm alone, I'm pushing a shopping cart full of ice cream for a party later. FML
Today, I'm getting over a nasty breakup, and decided to treat myself and order a pizza online. After waiting 45 minutes, I checked the site. Turns out, I'd forgotten to change the address on the site. I sent my ex a free pizza. FML
Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex-husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex-father in law. FML
Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML
Today, after my ex helped me drop over a hundred pounds, I broke up with him because I looked and felt so much better, and knew I could do better. Turns out he was the only thing keeping me slim, as I've put back on over twenty pounds. I asked him to take me back and he told me to fuck off. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 5 years dumped me, after he intentionally made me fat so that I wouldn't leave him. FML
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Top comments
spursunited 19
I guess we know why he's an ex
megs925 16
You should send him one back reading "how to **** off"
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Comments (120)
IamHM 14
FYL for all the mean comments. Nobody, but NOBODY gets to tell you that you need to lose weight. Your body, your decision. I hope the pie was delicious.
ChristinePi 36
Probably already been said... But forward him an email back about penis enlargement
patatoguy 14
You should've sent him one that said "how to get a bigger dick"
ohSNAPyall 27
You lost at least 150 when you dropped his sorry butt!
blackonblight 33
Thankfully you've already shed that much dead weight several times over by him being an ex.
Ninjerman 7
hmmm, I wonder why he's an ex...
xxsakuraxx 29
You should tell him that you've already lost X amount of dead weight just by getting rid of his sorry ass!
roxyroller20 15
Dean?
my2centsworth 15
Perhaps you should send him back an email stating that you're happy having lost the (insert his weight here) pounds of ugly fat you discarded when you threw him out.
momac86 17
I've thot of a new place for that pie heh heh