Work: Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked... - FML

15/06/2016 06:18 - United States - Crossville

Today, while working the drive-thru at work, an older woman asked for my phone number to give to her single son. After I politely declined, she called me a slut and threw her food at me through the window before promptly speeding off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 166

You deserved it 1 010

There's no helping some people

Batman

Stop talking!

16/10/2015 16:40 - United States - Greenbelt

Today, my grandpa passed away. The only emotion my dad showed was anger, because my grandpa owed my dad money. Now he wants to take it from my grandma, like he's some sort of mobster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 318

You deserved it 1 531

04/05/2014 23:28 - United States - Madison

Today, I was at the bar. A man started to hit on me. He claims to have a fetish for pregnant women. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 699

You deserved it 5 990

11/12/2014 13:26 - Hong Kong - Central District

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 309

You deserved it 39 550

24/07/2009 11:39 - United States

Today, a man held a door open for me while I fished my umbrella out of my very cluttered bag. As I was opening my umbrella, I turned to thank him for being such a gentleman. Instead, a tampon that had apparently wedged itself into the folds of my umbrella flew into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 243

You deserved it 5 957

21/08/2014 17:39 - Canada - Barrie

Today, on my first day at as a photo editor at a print store, I had to spend over an hour editing a full shoot of a fat man eating a baguette in a bathtub, closeups included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 451

You deserved it 3 792

The art of seduction

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58

Spicy

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 332

You deserved it 194

One-sided

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - Australia

Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 90

25/07/2019 14:00

Today, I live in a household of 3 people, with only one vehicle. My transmission blew right after working 16 straight hours. I had to walk 6 miles home, not to mention figure out work tomorrow. Now my oldest, who does not live with me, is pissed because it is an "inconvenience" for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 147

10/01/2015 13:45 - United States

Today, my fiancée got married. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 662

You deserved it 3 421

20/06/2009 00:28 - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said "You're the sexiest person I've ever stalked". Later, I found another note that said "Sorry, that was meant for your roommate. You aren't my type." Not even a creepy stalker thinks I'm attractive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 892

You deserved it 3 874

14/12/2011 14:06 - United States

Today, my husband changed the voice on my car's GPS to Mr T's. I don't know how to change it back. I've been saying, "I pity the fool" over and over again ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 114

You deserved it 5 453

The Good Life

By Anonymous - 13/01/2021 11:01

Today, I live in a tiny village in the countryside. Nice and quiet, right? Wrong. The farm next door rents out their land to some kind of soil processing company. Basically, it’s like living next to a never-ending construction site that knows neither Sundays nor holidays. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 54

That's not how that works, it's not how anything works

By Ariane - 26/09/2021 14:00

Today, in France, a "Vaccine Pass" is needed to do most things. Some family members came to visit, but as they aren't vaccinated they usually just stay home. They told us that we're dangerous, because we carry "millions of viruses" from the vaccine, and it will be our fault if they get Covid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 149

30/03/2013 06:57 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I was cast as beast in my high school's production of Beauty and the Beast. My Grandma's input? "At least they won't need any makeup." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 083

You deserved it 3 844

Bad date #3764

By Greenpuppy416 - 04/07/2020 05:02

Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 722

You deserved it 126

Look at that

By Gremlin - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Staines

Today, I noticed that my son only really looks like me when he's straining to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 313

You deserved it 4 090

05/10/2009 13:55 - New Zealand

Today, I saw photos of my boyfriend at his 25th birthday party. The one he told me was cancelled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 456

You deserved it 3 531

24/07/2015 02:33 - United States - Denver

Spicy

Today, my wife sent me a Google Calendar reminder for "sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 890

You deserved it 11 572

18/02/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I got fired. To make things worse, I had to sit in three-hour bumper to bumper traffic, waiting for a wreck to clear on my way home. In front of me was a fat man with a hairy butt crack on a motorcycle. I was forced to stare at a fat, underwear-less man's ass for 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 139

You deserved it 3 913

15/12/2010 05:42 - United States

Today, my toddler stood up in a shopping cart and fell, giving himself a black eye. Later, while at a restaurant, he tried to stand up in his high-chair. I quickly blurted out, "Sit down! Do you want another one of those?" while pointing at his eye. The waiter wouldn’t stop glaring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 296

You deserved it 10 664

Mommy's boy

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 16:00

Today, I found out that in the past, my mother has paid or outright threatened my girlfriends into breaking up with me, because they were, "unsuitable trash not fit to be the mothers of my future grand babies." This explains why I’m 47 and have never married or had children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 432

You deserved it 144

15/10/2009 15:48 - United States

Today, I had a Biochemistry quiz. I studied all night but took a nap to get some rest because my quiz was in the morning. I woke up at 10 feeling very confident. My quiz was at 9. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 906

You deserved it 29 247

12/01/2013 06:36 - United States - Ville Platte

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 868

You deserved it 10 215

25/03/2012 04:40 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my boyfriend wrote a song for me. As he was singing it to me I realized it was actually a breakup song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 799

You deserved it 2 706

08/12/2016 01:22 - Hong Kong

Today, I got yelled at by parents of one of my students because their child didn't perform well at their Winter Concert. These are the same parents who told me months ago that I needed to be more lenient by allowing their kids to skip rehearsals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 125

You deserved it 565

26/10/2012 07:58 - United States - Anadarko

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 822

You deserved it 2 341

01/06/2016 01:03 - United States

Today, I decided to work on my social anxiety by ordering some food. I waited in line, practicing my order in my head all the way. When I got to the front, I said my order with no mistakes. The cashier just stared blankly at me until I mumbled, "Never mind..." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 100

You deserved it 1 574

21/04/2015 15:40 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, despite having a stomach bug, I went into work, as my boss is overseas and had warned me not to take any sick leave until she returned. After 4 hours and vomiting twice, I left. She found out and sent me an email bitching me out for coming in sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 284

You deserved it 2 901

What Mötley Crüe call "Breakfast"

By oh no - 18/04/2020 02:00

Today, I think all those jokes my wife made about becoming an alcoholic during quarantine may be true. She came back from the weekly shopping today with 7 bottles of wine, a bottle of tequila and a 30-pack of beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 313

You deserved it 242

Too much of a good thing

By tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 354

You deserved it 219

08/11/2015 05:28 - United States - Lewes

Today, the only way I could get my boyfriend to come over for a serious discussion was to heavily imply I wanted to talk about having a threesome. In actual fact, I just wanted to break up with him face-to-face, because he barely acknowledges my existence unless he's horny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 282

You deserved it 2 636

07/05/2011 06:40 - United States

Today, I snuck out to see my girlfriend in the middle of the night. When I got to her house, I decided to throw a rock at her window to wake her up. It broke a hole in the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 564

You deserved it 50 177

08/02/2011 03:22

Today, I found out the real reason why me and my boyfriend of four and a half months have "so much in common". He used to be my stalker, who followed me around in a black hoodie and always posted stuff on my Myspace as an anonymous person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 793

You deserved it 6 095

02/04/2017 14:00

Today, I found out that my crazy stalker got a crazy stalker too. And she's also stalking me. So basically, I'm in some sort of a stalking triangle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 346

You deserved it 284

14/12/2016 12:32 - United States - Storrs Mansfield

Today, after a long night of studying, my roommate and her friends decided it would be fun to throw a mini party in my room at 7am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 584

You deserved it 577

19/12/2009 11:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, after realizing it burned when I peed, I found out the boy I waited two years to have sex with gave me gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 7 220

19/11/2011 19:08 - United States

Today, the first snow of the season fell. My husband celebrated by pelting me with snowballs, while I was on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 097

You deserved it 6 436

11/06/2011 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my dad makes me wear dresses and skirts not because I look pretty in them, but because he was sick and tired of people asking him if I was a boy or a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 646

You deserved it 6 230

30/05/2009 12:48 - United States

Today, I overheard my 5 year old daughter call a girl in her dance class a slut. Shocked, I asked her where she heard that word. Her response: "I heard you and Daddy say it about her Mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 337

You deserved it 71 624

03/11/2009 11:02 - Australia

Today, I asked my girlfriend about a diamond necklace I bought her for her birthday, which she didn't seem to be wearing. She then told me she hocked it to pay for her inexpensive phone bill. I paid $1,500 for that necklace, she received $300 from the pawn shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 387

You deserved it 4 758

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Top comments

LetsGetFreaky 20

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:51

Her son must be desperate

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:50

Wow. Gotta love customer service. But look on the bright side. Free food.

Comments

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:50

Wow. Gotta love customer service. But look on the bright side. Free food.

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 20:52

.....Free high velocity floor-food, anyway.

rachelthelime_fml 29

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Thursday 16 June 2016 0:55

Unless OP has good reflexes, then it will be free high velocity caught food xD

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Thursday 16 June 2016 8:35

Trust me. Free food from the place your work isnt really that desirable. We normally get it anyway from our employee meal. It gets icky after a while because (assuming here) fast food worker = broke = have to eat employee meal every day on top of making/serving it all day = everything taste like kitty litter. In this situation at the moment along with all my coworkers.....

LetsGetFreaky 20

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:51

Her son must be desperate

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:58

Or the mother is. I've actually had this happen to me when a customer brought his adult son to my workplace (I worked in retail) and proudly introduced us. We shook hands and just sort of stared at each other without knowing what to say. It was horribly awkward. Parents can sometimes be too overzealous when it comes to finding partners for their children.

AlyNStarburst 15

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 22:15

Could very well just be the parent. My sister and I were on the side of the road with a flat tire. My mom showed up to help and so did a guy who wanted to ask if we were okay and if we needed his help. My mom asked how old he was, asked for his number and kept talking good things about my sister.

Phantomsnake 10

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 23:53

Her son must be happy he gets girls with no single move.

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Thursday 16 June 2016 1:22

Desperate to get away from his crazy mother!

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Thursday 16 June 2016 14:02

It's also possible the son is gay and his mother just doesn't want to get it through her head so she just looks for any girl.

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Friday 17 June 2016 4:29

Not really. Ever heard of helicopter parents? Blame her.

areyouseroooos 10

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:52

I feel bad for her son...

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:54

People usually show their true face when things don't go the way they wanted.

MetalxSoldier 26

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 15:59

Looks like you dodged a bullet if her son acts anything like her. Too bad you didn't dodge the food she threw at you.

False_Stupidity 41

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Thursday 16 June 2016 0:51

Well it doesn't say. Maybe she has Ninja like reflexes and dodged the food which then hit her boss, who happened to be right behind her, the boss then blamed her for the mess and fired her.

FalloutScrolls 25

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 16:01

I feel worse for her son. He could've had fries with that.

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 19:29

Yummy, slutty fries. Love 'em.

freddygasman 18

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Thursday 16 June 2016 1:50

you want some fries with that shake

Xcizer 17

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 16:01

Don't want to go out with someone you don't know? "SLUT!"

interesting33 36

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Monday 20 June 2016 22:29

I know that doesn't make any sense!

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 16:02

Not giving your body Willy nilly to strangers = slut? People nowadays are so fucking stupid :/

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 22:47

This happens a LOT! When I've been out volunteering, at a bar, private messaging, anywhere really, and someone asks me out it goes like this: "Wanna go on a date sometime?" "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to politely decline..." "FUCKING SLUT! You're fucking ugly, who would go out with you anyway?!?" Like..... You asked me on a date, now I'm somehow an ugly slut? Okay..... Welcome to today's logic!

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 23:37

That sucks, I hate the fact that women still have to deal with this shit. It's 2016, it's been millennia since human life started, we should be way more progressive.

thedictator_fml 12

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 16:05

wow, f her sons life though - imagine having to introduce THAT to your girlfriend!

InnocenceBlue 37

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Wednesday 15 June 2016 16:06

Isn't that like the opposite of a slut?

Nearly

Today, I just had the best sex in all my life. After that, my ex-girlfriend dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 6

Today, I found out my dog of 11 years has very severe cancer. Her spleen, which has swollen to the size of a football, had a small rupture a day ago and would fatally within a week, we'll be putting her down tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 8

Spicy

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend came out as a polyamorous, and then immediately asked me if he could date another guy I thought was my friend. I’m such a pushover, I said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 319

Today, I have an internal defibrillator from trauma to my heart 12 years ago. I finally experienced for the first time what it's like when it shocks me. Nothing says I'm a keeper like getting kicked in the chest and smacked upside the back of the head with a baseball bat while clapping cheeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 69