Today, my drunk brother thought I could withstand a metal chair being slammed across my back like on the wrestling shows. I guess he didn't know that the shows are fake. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, I fell off of the deck in my backyard, which wouldn't have been that bad if my drunk, idiot brother hadn't jumped off behind me yelling, "FINISH HIM!" while delivering a bone-crushing body slam. He is fine. I, however, am currently getting a cast for a broken arm. FML
Today, while arm wrestling with my boyfriend, I had to pretend he beat me. FML
Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML
Today, I got proof that martial arts don’t really work, I’ve supposedly worked my way up to my black belt, and I challenged my brother to a match. He floored me with one punch before I could do anything, and he only weight lifts to keep in shape, he’s never done martial arts in his life. FML
Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML
Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML
Today, my brother and I got in a fight and he told my friends that I am mentally disabled. They believed him. Apparently, "everything makes sense now." FML
Today, my brother-in-law wanted a boxing match, which was the last thing I wanted since he’s a trained boxer. The last thing I expected was to knock him out cold on my first swing. My wife is now mad at me because he’s sulking, and I “could have held back to be a good sport.” Um, what? FML
Today, I had to explain to a hospital social worker that my young son is not abused, he is just rowdy and that he knocked himself unconscious and shattered 4 teeth in a bizarre stunt involving a tree, my ironing board, a mop bucket and lots of duct tape. I'm not sure the hospital believes me. FML
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Top comments
Thisismypchere 8
Shit that sucks. I'm sorry, what an idiot
GuidoCheese 0
Oh hell yes! I used to think the shows were real back then so I tried to imitate some of the moves. Two broken arms, a broken rib, and a broken finger later, I began to suspect something was up.
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Comments (128)
Lulblast 4
In Soviet Russia, chair break you. Enough Said.
CsDy1395 6
...those shows are fake!? :o SARCASM
rcloca 10
Ouchies! ?
xFBIxPSYCOTICx 0
that's some scary shit there
MoCheezy23 0
WHAT?! IT'S FAKE!?
poopdollar 0
maybe because he's drunk
annaHU4L49 0
my brother tried to do that to me when I was seven. and when that didn't work he chased me with a ladder. he was sober.
fast7fast 0
dude, chairs to the back dont even hurt, ive taken a full force chair to the head... that hurts
kodyk99 0
You and me are in the same boat....D:
XoMxcted 0
While hes away.. Take your pants off and fart on his pillow. Pink eye should treat him well