Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML
Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML
Today, I finally got the hearing aids that I've needed for years. My dog quickly learned that if he quietly sneaks up behind me and barks, it'll scare the hell out of me. It's now his favorite game. FML
Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Enslaved 38
Or they thought it was a pussy purring?
colton_colton 50
Maybe they're trying to tell you something
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
star14394 20
At least you're not alone
Redundant_Idiot 7
Nice picture. OP maybe let dogs outside or go in a different room when you use it.
Ghost308 11
That sounds like a rough vibrator. Maybe they were just trying to protect from it!!
jenjen2633 17
Are you sure you weren't the one growling?
Bilbo_Swaggins 5
Wow your dog thought your vibarator was a growl your life is so ******.
worldclassrager 41
Try toning down the speed...or have the dogs out...or just learn to live with it...
zaise_chsa 19
Did you eventually have a barking good time?
harp 9
Have you tried peanut butter.....
perdix 31
#22, it's a lot of work to shake the jar.
sthrnbell 9
Freaking lol.haha
rosco98 16
Someones trying to tell you either you need a new vibrator or to stop using one
essex 17
I only have the one dog, but he flips his shit when he hears mine. Nice to know I'm not the only one whose dog is out to end all deviance in the house.