Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML
Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML
Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML
Today, my boyfriend's vicious dog, which he got as a security measure and growls and barks at me whenever I go near it, was caught on our security camera playing like a puppy with a burglar, while the other two burglars cleaned out all our valuables. FML
Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm for the first time. She's a screamer. Her dog must have thought I was attacking her, because he immediately came over and started savaging me. FML
Today, I realized that the only place my missing vibrator can be is at the house of the people I just dogsat for. In their spare room. Which also serves as their kids' playroom. FML
Today, my 14-year-old son asked his dog what she was chewing on. It wasn't until he picked it up said, "Is this what I think it is?" that I realized my son was gripping my vibrator. As I took it outside, mortified, he told his sister. FML
Today, and for the past week, my dog has started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML
Today, I finally got the hearing aids that I've needed for years. My dog quickly learned that if he quietly sneaks up behind me and barks, it'll scare the hell out of me. It's now his favorite game. FML
Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML
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Top comments
Enslaved 38
Or they thought it was a pussy purring?
colton_colton 50
Maybe they're trying to tell you something
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Comments (96)
DanielleinDC 34
Unless you live in a one-room apartment, might not be a bad idea to have your dogs in another room when you take care of business. If you don't have that option, maybe do it under the blanket to blunt the noise.
matthews_van 10
Put your dogs outside or go as far from them as you can
NodakN8V 25
What were you using? A belt sander?
blueknight1st 26
Pics or it didn't happen.
jeriaslovesyou 16
Try to drown out the sound of the vibrator with some music, or the tv. Hopefully something works!
pangalactic 2
No-one so far has noticed your username is "spoof" spelled backwards.
Lurker1 9
Maybe they just wanted in on it?
lazymaze 3
I'm wtf I guess they wanted to join u
how_to_implode 17
It can definitely be hard to have a good wank with a dog in the house. They watch you while you try to get into it, run in barking because they heard you moan from the other room, or just start bothering you for attention partway through.
mac2020 5
Why a vibrator when I'm right here