Sex, Dogs, Awkward and Sextoys: Freakout

Freakout

By nofunforme - 25/06/2019 12:00 - United States - Candler

Today, I was having fun while home alone, until my dog heard my vibrator and tried to attack me. FML

agreeclassic 1 969

vote type 1 470

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Similar FMLs

By foops - 02/02/2014 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

agreeclassic 45 922

vote type 1 11 627

By Anonymous - 28/11/2016 06:34

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

agreeclassic 9 432

vote type 1 1 591

Bad boy

By dogdays - 10/11/2014 01:12 - Canada - Oshawa

Today, I left my dog alone while I went to work, as usual. He usually hangs out in the big bay window that faces the street. Today he decided to steal my vibrator and chew it while sitting in the window. I can only imagine how many people walked by and saw it. FML

agreeclassic 35 041

vote type 1 7 240

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

agreeclassic 2 913

vote type 1 250

By ohsnap - 22/01/2011 21:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me, when I heard my dog start growling. He must have thought my girlfriend was hurting me, because out of nowhere and before I could do anything, he attacked her. FML

agreeclassic 35 863

vote type 1 5 755

You tried

By Loveless - 10/09/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, during foreplay, I was trying to be sexy. But instead I fell off the bed, landed in the laundry basket, and was attacked by the dog. FML

agreeclassic 24 186

vote type 1 5 711

By anyonmus - 12/04/2013 00:59 - United States - Westminster

Today, I went for a run, and my own dog attacked me. FML

agreeclassic 42 300

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By Anonymous - 09/02/2015 14:53 - United States - Middleton

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

agreeclassic 39 947

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Wankers

By trainE - 30/03/2009 02:08 - United States

Today, I was masturbating in my room when my dog started to bark obnoxiously. He does this all the time so I ignored it and kept going. This went on for about a half hour. When I went downstairs, I found an open door and an empty TV stand. FML

agreeclassic 22 370

vote type 1 94 685

Technology hates humans

By Anonymous - 17/01/2021 11:01

Today, I had the house to myself for the morning. I decided to enjoy being alone, so pulled my trusty bullet vibrator from the drawer. I was very much into it, loving the alone time and myself, and was on the edge of climax when my vibrator died. This brought me to tears, because all I wanted to do was be alone and masturbate. FML

agreeclassic 1 408

vote type 1 302

BurnInDemonFire 35

Wednesday 26 June 2019 2:26

What a buzzkill.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 26 June 2019 6:12

Umm why was the dog in the room with you, kick it out shut the door and lock it, but ya that is still hilarious.

Comments

what 1

Tuesday 25 June 2019 18:20

Can’t blame him for being weary of foreign invaders...btw that’s freaking hilarious

BurnInDemonFire 35

Wednesday 26 June 2019 2:26

What a buzzkill.

Charlie Given 26

Wednesday 26 June 2019 6:12

Umm why was the dog in the room with you, kick it out shut the door and lock it, but ya that is still hilarious.

warmonger711 8

Thursday 27 June 2019 8:06

The dog wants a turn.

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 30 June 2019 2:16

Talk about bad vibes!

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my parents found cigarettes in my car. After a long argument lasting over an hour, I convinced them that they weren't mine and that I don't smoke. A few minutes later, I went to work. Guess who decided to visit me during my smoke break. FML

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Today, I was at a job interview which seemed to be going well until the guy saw on my CV that I prefer they/them pronouns. Now, I’m not pushy about it, but he instantly lost interest and kept checking his phone to make sure he gave me my full 15 minutes; at minute 16 I was out the door. FML

agreeclassic 544

vote type 1 1 216

Today, while at a rest stop, I heard a woman in the stall next to me answer her phone and say to the other person, "Oh nothing just pooping and shit." FML

agreeclassic 3 893

vote type 1 555

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

agreeclassic 29 660

vote type 1 7 289

Today, I had to go to the hospital to get blood taken. The nurse mentioned how pronounced and easy to see my veins are. I guess that explains why she missed five times in a row. I'm surprised my arm doesn't look like a heroin addict's right now. FML

agreeclassic 41 450

vote type 1 3 093